Wencong

2009-11-29T11:57:00.001+08:00

It stir up my feeling and break my heart to hear what you say.

2009-05-06T02:37:00.001+08:00

I have deleted the previous three posts.
For those who have see those, forget about it.

I won't blog anything regarding you.
NO MORE!

2009-05-05T17:46:00.002+08:00

29/4/09 Wed

Meet up with angel to get our pay.
Like finally!
I love money! haha
Who don't?

Saw jonavan while on the train.
Turned out we are headed to the same place.
Talked abit on the train.

30/4/09 Thurs

Meet up with bk to get HIS pay cause promised him to accompany him le.
But kel and mel not at office so need to wait as MR NBK doesnt trust the bank.
HAIZ!

So in the end, find a place to lunched and went over simlim to walk around.
After that, went back to get his pay and he accompany me back to Tp to get my graduation attire.
I brought it!
HEHE! =>

1/5/09 Fri

LABOUR DAY!! = WORKING DAY!!
This week at Plaza Sing.
I got a lot of feeling at Plaza Sing.
Well, lets just say i have alot of wonderful memories happened here.

Working there, i hate it.
Not much sales and i don't like the working environment there.
Think about it!
Who will go down Plaza Sing during public holiday to get a printer back home?!!
All i saw is youngsters wearing damn nice ready for club at night.
Enough complaining

2/5/09 Sat
SAME WORKING DAY!

3/5/09 Sun
Was supposed to work.
But got a very terrible stomachache in the morning so never go work.

Angel called.
So went down T1 to have lunch with her and bk.
Went say cheese
Ordered grilled fish and i hate it.
Not very nice! I don't like fish. but don't know why i ordered that. lol

After lunch, bk went back to work.
I sent angel back and went to my grandma's house.

4/5/09 Monday
Slacked at home.
Only went out to school to get my toolbox with bk in the afternoon.
Nothing much!!!

P.S

Im too tired this few days that i forgot to do something
If you know who you are, im sorry!

2009-05-02T01:20:00.000+08:00

I don't know what is your intention,
but i don't like it.

2009-04-23T00:20:00.005+08:00

17/4/09 Friday

Went to grandma's house for dinner.
Quite some time never go le.
Missed my grandma's cooking and of course the cute little yijie. LOL

Oh ya.
I think i haven recommend the cute yijie in my blog.

Here you go!
My cute little cousin.
=D

*This pic is super cute!! =>

Anyway after dinner,
received a call from someone

This person hor, super last min la.
Last min ask me go help her buy office wear.
But cant blame her la.
She also last min know

So the kind heart me agreed to help her but i still pull hao out to accompany me.
Hahaha. If not very ps.
So both of us meet and went a few places to check out office wear for girls.
Kinda awkward.
LOL
But still get it in the end.
Went walked around again and went home le.

18/4/09 Saturday

WORKING DAY!
This week was deployed to Compass point Best denki

First time working there.
Kinda sian at first
Cause i don't like to go to a new environment.
But no choice. HAHAHA =D

But still got know a few promoters there.

Jinyong (turned out to be jintai's bro that i know during IT fair)
Hanxiang(Canon's promoter)
(Acer's promoter) Forgot her name but she asked me to just call her Bee hoon.
Darren (Mac's promoter)
HAHAHA.

Lunch break was with them.
And frank msg-ed and asked me whether want go st james tonight.
Never go before so agreed.

Didnt expect that darren (mac's promoter) was going too.
So after work, straight cab home to change and went to meet frank and hao at outram park.

Then went to st james.
At first was kinda bu xi guan the environment.
but after a while jiu ok le. Think was inside too early le.
That's why still quite little people.
Find a cozy corner and stand there.
Ordered some drinks.
Alcohol + music and dancing.
Pretty fun! can relax.

As more people started to come in,
i saw some familiar faces as well.
Saw ruties and kahying.

Left the place at around 4+
And slack around harbourfront centre till the first train arrived.
Didnt accompany frank and hao for breakfast at tamp cause gonna go back and sleep for a few hours.

Gonna work at 12pm.
In the end, only slept for 2 hours.

Lucky got one angel wake me up,
if not gone case! haha

Anyway woke up, went to work.
VERY VERY VERY VERY TIRED!
but still not bad wor.
Sales : 6

Lunch break with hanxiang.
And i saw this

Don't know what show lai de.
LOL!

20/4/09 - 21/4/09

Been running around woodlands and tamp.
Hahahaha =>

Someone told me the same thing that you used to told me.
Why do i always hear the same thing?
Can i choose not to?

Its not the first time
and still i don't know what i should do.
I'm afraid that the same thing will happen again
or maybe it will not.

2009-04-16T01:27:00.011+08:00

14/4/09

Yesterday was supposed to meet hao and frank at TM to watch sniper.
But i overslept and so we meet around 3 instead of 12.

I felt like singing out of a sudden and so we went to ehub to sing k instead of movie.
LoL.
Lucky me, both of them are those "anything" type. =>

Applied for kbox membership, their new membership card so cool.
More classy then the one bk have. LOL

Sing sang sung at the top of our voice! haha.

After that decided to go tampines1 to have our dinner since i haven been there yet.

While waiting for bus, frank's "daughter" messaged him to "test" him. Haha
Turned out hao became the person she don't like.
And the three of us became tom, dick and harry.
LOL =>
It was funny.
Whats more funny is that frank tot that the two different angels are actually the same one. Haha.

Anyway we went to tampines1.
Hao saw hibiki and never told me about it.
Haizz. so sad. HAHA

But tampines1 was cool. Great place to shop and alot of nice food and stuffs at the basement.
After dinner and some walking around.
Home sweet home le.

Very very tired.
But still need wait for someone to go sleep first. Lol

Today whole day at home.
BORING! LOL

8/3/09 - 10/3/09

Genting Trip!

2009-04-15T02:04:00.000+08:00

YEAH!!!

Its solved!

Thank you for everything.
=>

2009-04-14T23:41:00.002+08:00

Damn it.

I hate this feeling la.

Why everything just cant go the way i want.
so that everything won't be messed up.

I don't know what to say to her.
I don't know how to explain to her.
I don't know how to face her.
I don't know anything at all.

Its my fault...
I'm sorry.

About everything.

2009-04-13T22:30:00.016+08:00

4th april

SENTOSA TRIP!
Excited! FUN! DRENCHED! BARE-FOOTED! SHAG.....Errr, nonono. TIRED!! HAHA!

Pics!

2009-01-16T02:50:00.000+08:00

Please be the guy for her.
That's all i ask.

2009-01-07T22:50:00.002+08:00

I look at your old posts again.

FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK!!!
FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK!!!
FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK!!!
FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK!!!
FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK!!!
FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK!!!
FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK!!!
FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK!!!
FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK!!!
FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK!!!
FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK!!!

2009-01-07T21:12:00.003+08:00

What am i suppose to write here.

I really don't know.

My fingers felt so heavy now. I felt like i cant even move them.

I should have blog yesterday, at least i...

at least i tot...

whatever.

I know i shouldnt be feeling that way when i saw that.
I knew it deep down

and yet when i know the fact.

The disappointment doesnt seem to be lesser.

Why izzit always that way?

Everything so important to me mean so little or maybe nothing to you.

Just look nice?

Or maybe i should have chosen a uglier one?

To order to save me from all of these.

AHHHHHHHHH.

Why am i so happy yesterday?!
Just why?!

Today i went back to school.
Xy told me i passed by you.
I didnt realized but i wondered, did you wear it?

And you really did.
but why do you have to say that?

When i was working at vivo city last week,
i remembered a lot of things.

When we went to sentosa happily, when we play with water at the pool of vivo city, when we leave our footprints there and when you stuffed me with your leftovers at carl's junior.

One of my collegues' gf came to find him during lunch.
When i saw how sweet they are, you came to my head yet again.

Everytime when i saw couples hugging each other tightly beside me,
You are always in my mind too.
I don't like this but i cant help it.
I don't like the idea of having to look at them and you, the one i want to hold tightly in my arms is not here.

I've always say everything im feeling. I blogged about it, i told people about it,
Sometime i even say it out just right in your face.

Sometimes i felt that im selfish, only know how to say everything out without thinking about others.

But at least i did say it out.

And you, the one that always hide yourself.
Always telling people you have let go of the pasts but never did.
Always ...
Always like that.

Recently i've read something somewhere.

狮子没有安全感，也不会给别人安全感......
狮子爱不起,更怕伤.....
狮子喜欢折磨人，一会对你好，一会对你坏....
狮子喜欢自欺欺人，一直说以后一切都会好......
狮子内心很悲观，世界末日也不会在乎....
这就是一个狮子星座女孩.

For a moment, i was thinking.
Isnt this talking about you?

Then i saw this

狮子的女孩从来都不会在情人面前大声哭泣，但她几乎每晚都会躲在被窝里独自哭泣到天亮。
如果你看到了她的眼泪，请相信这不是她在博取同情，这是她这样一个内心骄傲的女子不得已的场景。

If this is true
i will love you even more.

But i know i already believe every single word.

Actually i was thinking today
i should ask you out for chibi on thursday.
cause thursday is the 8th.
You do remember that don't you

Cause i seriously believe every single time without fail when you say you wanted to let go of the past.

Maybe you really decide to let go of him and ...
you know,
accept me or something?
Hahaa.

I really wanted to watch the show
Actually all i really want is you watching it with me.
maybe on that date?
Maybe not.

It look really nice on you.
really nice.

2009-01-02T22:51:00.011+08:00

Hmmmmmm......

Im back.

First of all,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MYSELF! (A few days back)

The most devastating birthday i ever had among all the 19 previous birthday.

Well, quite a special one also.

WHY?

Cause a crying girl asked me whether i want a cigarette in the middle of the night.

And a very unlucky one too.

WHY?

Cause the cab driver have to pulled over and check the car due to some weird noise heard during the trip in the middle of the expressway in the middle of night and it was raining cats and dogs.

And my whole birthday was spend in school with the stupid TKK project which is giving us a big headache.
To be honest, i don't really want to care about that shit.

Ok.
Enough of this birthday.

I still got my birthday cake nevertheless.
Not from her
cause didnt went out.

She never understand that its the thoughts that counts.

OK.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

New year's eve.
Spent the whole morning to settle some work stuffs.

Movie at Ehub!

I told him
I like the place but i don't like the place. Contradicting it may seems.
I said:
勾起甜蜜的伤心回忆

Movie:
"YES MAN!"

Pretty nice! Funny!

But the malay guys beside me was very annoying thru out the whole movie.
But i still enjoy the show. =D

Didnt went anywhere to celebrate countdown.

1. I don't like crowds.
2. I don't have anyone with me that can motivate me to overthrow my first reason.
3. I hate to see people celebrating happily. (some sort of weird mindset but its been like that recently.)
4. *Its confidential.*

Well,

God still gave me a present nonetheless.

Flu and coughing! =< But who cares?
You don't as far as i can tell.

NEW YEAR = SLEEPING DAY!!
Woke up at 4pm.
What do you expect?
Im a sick patient here.
=D

Today!!
Apel lesson!
Most terrifying lesson.

Cannot don't go.
She told me to.(that time)
Will see her (I did)
Her amazing ignorance tactics (Happened)

Most important thing.

CP NAGSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!
HAhahahaha.

Oh, i saw my term test results.
Don't know if you even bother.
But you make me feel like you care about me that time when you say you wanted me to passed all my subjects and i got to promised you that.

*If you are looking at this,
I want to say im sorry!

I did promised to pass all
but i failed to do so.

And so it happened to be the second paper.

I PROMISED!!
IM SORRY!
I TRIED.*

Lunch at pastamania!
Filling!

Some games after lunch is fun.
But the companion doesnt seem to enjoy it.
Ahhh. I don't care! as long as im enjoying. LoL

One more thing,
If you don't want to be dead as a passive smoker.
Improvise and choose another route or stand somewhere else.
That particular someone! Hahahaha.
Im so freaked out that it may melt my lens. =p (Being silly)

P.s
If anyone somewhere really wondered if extreme heat near eyes will melt lens and cause damage to your eyes.
Here the answer:
Don't have to worry about it. It won't. But miracle may happened so its recommended not to.
So if you want to be blind for any reasons. You can try it out. =p

Answers not by me. Its by some tv programme. =D

Parted after that and went over to someone's place.
Slacked for awhile and home is the next place i could think of.
No sleeping the previous day really hit me hard. =p

Oh, I want to complain!
Bus 15 was killing me today.
Freaking long!!!
All is 27, 27, 27 and more 27.
GRRRrrrrrr.

Ok, enough of whinning.

I just found a new sports and i really loved it.

Cycling around tampines at night.
Cooling. Nice nightview. Good for emo-ing and
its a SPORT. =>
Gonna do that daily. I hoped. haha.

Last thing.

You may not like it.
Well, actually i know you sure won't like it.

But theres this song.

OK.
The MV doesnt mean anything so ignore it.
I loved the lyrics alot alot alot.
This Jam guy is really talented.
How can he make this song with such a rhythem when the lyrics is like this.
But it really hurt and calm my heart now with this combination.
Enjoy it!

歌曲：疼爱歌手：萧敬腾

我沈默不代表我不痛
我不痛眼泪就不会流
总是安静承受安静忍受
安静看你走

你说我很适合当朋友
你说我总是会听你说
你说别太难过保持联络
有空的时候

把疼爱都给你把疼痛都给我
最痛是当时微笑送你走
等到你转身后眼泪也不敢流
只怕你偶然还会回过头

把疼爱都给你把疼痛都给我
放开手是我最后的温柔
如果你能飞得快乐自由
这疼痛并不算什麽

想挽留却为什麽点头
我不懂连我都不懂我
如果说的太少爱的太多
有谁能够懂

把疼爱都给你把疼痛都给我
最痛是当时微笑送你走
等到你转身后眼泪也不敢流
只怕你偶然还会回过头

把疼爱都给你把疼痛都给我
放开手是我最后的温柔
如果你能飞得快乐自由
这疼痛并不算什麽

千言万语拥挤我的宇宙
让我震耳欲聋喔喔
有多少爱就有多少
沈默的疼痛

把疼爱都给你把疼痛都给我
最痛是当时微笑送你走
等到你转身后眼泪也不敢流
只怕你偶然还会回过头

把疼爱都给你把疼痛都给我
放开手是我最后的温柔
如果你能飞得快乐自由
这疼痛并不算什麽

Tomorrow im working at vivo best denki.
I don't know why i want to write this here.
I just wanted to.

BYE.

2008-12-03T22:43:00.002+08:00

I didnt went in for a long long time.
But i did after all.

That post hit me with an impact.
I cant stop myself from wondering
Izzit me you are talking about?

One part of me was wishing for it but the another was telling me that maybe i was thinking too much cause i always was.
Therefore im really confused.
Although i already know what im going to do, i started to think again.

Actually,
i just hope.

I got absolutely no idea whether you will see this post anot.

But no matter what,

Remember
this date.

"28/12/2008"

2008-10-16T01:02:00.002+08:00

I miss you. I really do.

我看不開也放不開因為我曾見過愛情来过
一段不属于我的愛情

2008-08-07T00:02:00.002+08:00

Everything is for you.
I know its hard for you,
i cant bear to see you like that too.
But its something i need to do to let you understand.

Now i will wait.
Will let time passed me by.

You got the message already.
Do what you need to do when the time is right.

Smile ba.
I haven seen it for a long time.
I don't want to lose it cause
its really sweet.

That stormy night.

2008-08-06T00:02:00.003+08:00

First of all, to people outside.

I don't care where you all read things from.

I knew what i did was wrong. but none of you can judge me.
If you think i don't cherish this relationship and thats why i did that.
I can only say you are wrong. I didnt meant to do or say anything. It wasnt on purpose.
You don't know my feeling and my love for her.

I won't explain much.
I guess i can only say they don't know me.
And the people that know me won't need my explanation.

I walked past the bus stop after school.
It was windy.

Just like that night.
That stormy night.
When you were so shivering cold
The rain was so heavy that staying under the void deck wasnt much of a use.
The wind was so strong that you still tremble even with jacket on.

I hug you in my arms, close to me.
in order for you to embrace my warmth.

Im looking back, i know.
I want it to be the present.

Someone asked me to smile like this.

2008-08-04T19:06:00.003+08:00

I never want to let go willingly.
but i have to.

Today i realized the last time i meet you happily was last last friday 25/7/08
after that i never see your face smiling at me again.
Your sweet smile.

Olympic is coming.
Everywhere is talking about it.
Every advertisment on the tv is counting down but the date
the date whereby i should be so happy and looking forward to it seem so miserable for me.
How i hope that date never come.

Where will i be on that date ?

Just now i read your blog. your old posts.
I realized that for the last few weeks,
theres have been something on going in you but i didnt realized.
I didnt realized at all.
I tot everything was alright.
I'm slow. I'm stupid. I'm just too blockhead to realized.
But theres nothing i can say now.
= [

2008-08-04T09:14:00.002+08:00

I tell myself not to think, you told me not to think. Everyone single one around me told me not to think.

But there are times when i cant let myself stop thinking.
When i see something, my mind and my eyes are just like linked somehow

I know you are happy. I know you feel so worth it when he smiled. I know all that.

I thought maybe you think it was nothing, maybe you just trying to express how you feel.
But it was only second day.

You may not feel a thing anymore but someone somewhere still do.
So can you try sparing a thought for people sometime.

2008-08-03T23:29:00.003+08:00

I break down today.
I let it all out.

Infront of her, I can be myself.
Don't have to act a brave front.
Thank you mum.

I promised myelf this will be the last.

2008-08-02T18:48:00.003+08:00

And who the hell lied about loving me. CHEATER!!

2008-07-30T23:48:00.004+08:00

A change of blog song for a change of feeling.
Not a change of heart.

Artist: A1
Album: The A-list
Title: One More Try

could be your eyes,
Could be your smile,
Could be the way you freed my mind
Your precious touch caressed my soul,
You gave me everything i need,
And now i'm lost,
Lost forever,

Lost forever,
And you said this is going nowhere, girl
And you said i turned my back on,
You said i'm not the only one for you

Chorus
Please give it one more try for the sake of our love
Let's give it one more chance cause i can't give you up
I can't live one more day without you in my arms
I could never find another like you

Could be the lies,
Could be my pride
Could be the days and nights so wild
Could be the times i wasn't there
And all the nights we didn't share
And now you're lost,
Lost forever

Lost forever
And you said this is going nowhere, girl
And you said i turned my back on
You said i'm not the only one for you

Repeat chorus

I can't sleep, i can't live without you by my side
So cold, so lost without you as my guide
You made me realise i'm nothing,
Nothing without you

Repeat chorus

Monday never went school.
Was sick!
O! Poor me! =[
See a doc, got my mc.
Home sweet home to rest.

At night, i was told to take a break.
Something i never wish for.
How long will it take?

Tuesday
School as per normal.
Teacher was concern about me. Kinda weird when she talk to me in a soft manner. LOL
"I returned everything back."
Went out with Xinyi to Ubi for our new valve! FINALLY!
Can i stop going there anymore?! =S
Need to find someone with me if not i will forget buy this and that.

Went back school, Slacked the whole time at BZE lab.
Hell lot of fun.
3pm went for NE talk at TCC
Talk was boring but the questions was quite interesting.

One of the question by the MC of the day.
I forgot the question le but one part of it was
" I felt like i was some sort of educational prostitute."
Hahahahahaha.
Pretty cool eh.

No clock out for the day. Wooo!
Dinner was chicken rice!
Bus trip with the "well done" auntie was funny.
Spotted chun's hp on the bus and he owe me a meal. =p
Break neck incident was interesting.
Pangseh_wendy@hotmail.com was the joke of the day.
LOL

Today
A terrible stomache pain early in the morning.
I was nearly late.
8:59:37.
If i didnt press on my stomach and chiong to school.
Goner for sure.

Anyway was better after applying some medicated oil.
Today was nearly a normal day except for the fact that something i just find out strike me hard.
And for the fact that i was******* you.
But i'll just wait for it.

One more thing.
Jena told me about a job intro by xavier.
I want it. =D
should ask xavier about it.

Tata
=p

2008-07-27T22:20:00.001+08:00

What is it that im feeling? What is it?

Its weird. I know it. Its not like normal.
Something is wrong.

我突然之间失去了安全感
我对你的事一点都不知道
而你只会说我不需要知道

就连我的那个问题
你都说不要逼你

我真的好没有安全感
到底哪里不对啊

2008-07-24T21:01:00.006+08:00

Something interesting!

I wanted to eat curry!

and this is what i get. LOL

Catch the movie "The Dark Knight" yesterday.

It was nice but girlfriend doesnt like it.
I think she doesnt understand the movie thats why.
Well, but she did accompany me for the show anyway.
Thanks gf.

Something to end this post.

I got something stuck in my mouth.
I want to ask you something.
I want to get it out of my mouth.
But something is stopping me.

2008-07-19T15:41:00.003+08:00

Wencong is not happy.
I don't know why.

人在成长的过程中
难免遇到挫折
要懂得保护自己
也要懂得爱自己

别急着说别无选择
别以为世上只有对与错
许多事情的答案都不只一个

2008-07-16T01:12:00.005+08:00

Last saturday went to find girlfriend and fetch her to downtown east to meet her pri sch mates.

She was so nervous and excited! lol
How silly.
It was a pri sch mates outing organised by her bestie in pri sch.
Come to think of it, if i was to organise such a outing. I bet i cant find any single person.
Hahahaha.

Anyway after sending her off to meet her friends, i went to hao's place.
Went for dinner and bk came shortly after.
Walked around for abit and parted after girlfriend return from her outing.

Send her home and she was showing me all the pics she took and keep talking about the fun and exciting outing all the way home.
Lol.
Home after that.

Last sunday

Swimming with hao in the noon.
Why only two person?
Cause mr frank got project to do and mr ng boon kiat as usual ps-ed us again. Whahaha.

Meet up with girlfriend at ikea after the swimming session.
Had the famous hot dog there and went to giant.
Saw Kevin Koh Wei Xiang there. =D
Actually was there to go find him de and ahem ahem but turn out he was the only one there.
Aiya. A wasted trip!!!
Hhahahahaha.

Anyway Kevin : Dun be so emo about the news le. Still got chance de. =D

After that went to E!hub for Red Cliff.

I was so excited lor. Seldom will got movie about Romance of Three Kingdoms de leh.
The movie was nice! but the ending really sucks. Does it even consider a ending?
To be continued leh. Sianzzzz.

Oh, forgot to mention
A few weeks back, girlfriend and me cooked at my house.
Pasta!!
Actually girlfriend was the one doing all the cooking but i did helped right~
Lol

Here's the pics!!

*Girlfriend is busy with the prawns!
*Done!
*Ingredients.

*End product!!

ITS REALLY YUMMY YUMMY!!!
Hahaha =D

A Really Cute pic to end this post!

2008-07-08T23:00:00.004+08:00

Today is our third month anniversary!!

Happy Happy is all i can say.

I make lunchbox for girlfriend but turn out to be breakfast cum lunch as girlfriend is too impatient.
Ok. I forgot to take picture when i finished and so i will show where izzit now?

*Bloated!! (I cooked too much but girlfriend insist on finishing everything. =D)

Now guess what girlfriend got for me?

Love coupon!! Hahaha
So cute!
(In two months time! omg. No time no time. ) =D
But it will come in handy.
Whahahaha.

HAPPY 3RD MONTH ANNIVERSARY!! DEAREST GIRLFRIEND~
=D

2008-07-03T18:09:00.002+08:00

What a week!

My girlfriend told me things two days in a row that make me speechless.
Totally speechless.

What you are trying so hard to do is to protect yourself and prevent anyone to hurt you.
As a matter of fact, you don't have to.
You can destroy someone that care about you easily with your harsh words.
Who is left that could hurt you?
No one.

Its better to let someone get hurt then myself.
Its doesn't make sense. It don't.

I love you more then you love me.
Izzit why that caused you be able to tell me 'that' which i can't.
I know you don't mean it. Tell me you don't.

I spend some time on the staircase outside my lab when i came back.
I sat there thinking.
Anger, Frustration and sadness all came to me.
With so many emotions in me at the same time.
I felt tired.
I closed my eyes.
I fall asleep.

Its hurting.

2008-07-02T18:51:00.004+08:00

Out of a sudden
I felt like im losing my friends.
Friends that i haf left.

I just give them a glum face whenever i feel like it.
This is not right and unfair. I know.
But i don't know how to stop.
I can stop myself from saying anything but i cant give a happy face when im not.

They say im sensitive.
I am.
She told me the same.

Sensitive?
Wondering.
Izzit a good thing or a bad thing.
Being sensitive is good at times. But sometimes i hate myself from being sensitive.
Am i over sensitive?

I'll make something happened due to me being over sensitive when nothing is happening in the first place.

I cant take the risk of losing anyone and anything.
Towards friends and you. Both sides.

I know im going to hurt someone and even myself if this continue.
So in order to protect myself and others i care about,
Should i just take it easy and live my life depends mainly on my personal views.

Did i let myself haf the glum face or did i depend too much on your views and therefore the glum face?

I don't want to suffer. I don't want you to suffer.
I don't want anyone around me to suffer because of me.
I am myself. Someone of low profile.

Gonna do some reflection.
I must know how to seperate my feelings at different time.
Its a must must!!

2008-06-08T23:36:00.006+08:00

HAPPY TWO MONTH ANNIVERSARY, DEAREST GIRLFRIEND!

Question!
What will you think of when someone mention orange and apple?

Fruits?
Nah.

Vitamin C?
Nah.

Answer:

Moriji and Moringo!

*Moriji

*Moringo

*Moriji, Moringo and Mrs Koh

*One Big Family!

2008-05-28T00:22:00.002+08:00

Someone that could really understand my heart.
Maybe i don't understand myself.

Now when you really got alot of stuffs going thru your head and you cant seem to solve it.
You just wish that you could stop thinking about it.
But normally you cant because if you keep asking yourself to dun think about it , you are thinking about it.

And when you get the answers from someone to solve your questions, it hurts your heart.
That someone will be someone important to you.
So when you got a head full of problems and a painful heart.
You will break down easily.
Especially someone not strong enough like me.

Someone like me that couldnt be in 'shut down' mode.
Someone like me that couldnt give a 'dun care' attitude.
Someone like me that cant even find anyone to compare as you are the only one in my heart.

Someone just like me.
Am i the only one?

2008-05-21T04:52:00.005+08:00

The bright sun shines on my back in this place I run through,
and once again I feel a tap on my shoulder.

You're the one I really like,
but there's no reason how you got into my heart.

I don't know when my eyes locked on you,
but thats how it began.

I won't let go or change my mind cause im
Crazy for you!

I want to change tomorrow by shouting out "I love you!"

I want to put an end to the times i couldn't speak.

I want to step forward with confidence and shout "I love you!"

These burning feelings,
I want you to catch.

2008-05-21T04:20:00.002+08:00

Instructions:Remove 1 question from below, and add in your personal question, make it a total of 20 questions, then tag 8 people in your list, list them out at the end of this post. Notify them in their chat box that he/she has been tagged.

Questions:
1. What disappoints you the most?
-Lies.

2. Where will you go if someone sponsors you a tour ticket?
- New Zealand.

3. What's your favorite thing to do?
-To be with my beloved eunice!

4. Do you think money can buy happiness?
-No. but money is important and thats for sure.

5. If you can have one dream to come true, what would it be?
-i wan all my friends and her frens, to be in peaceful lovely conditions with me.

6. Do you believe you can survive without money?
-Of course not. But i can survive without having to spend alot of money.

7. What's the most regretful thing that you've done before?
-To tell someone about something which i shouldnt

8. If you win $1 million, what would you do?
- Give some to my parents, Settle the HK trip, go gold coast with my beloved and enjoy life. LoL

9. What is the most embarrassing thing that happened to you recently?
-Having to endure joan's suaning about the "flower" incident.

10. List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you?
-Friendly person
-Someone that value friendship
-someone that give me my pay!! This is the impt one. LoL

11. What makes you happy?
-Being with her. Im easily satisfased

12. What type of person do you hate the most?
-People that cheat on relationships.

13. Where do you see yourself 10 years down the road?
-after reading the answer of the person who tagged me this quiz. My answer is " A father of 2 kids and a blessed husband"

14. If you could have a superpower, what would it be?"
-regeneration blood. So i could protect myself and my beloved.

15. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
-Her.

16. What do you do when you're alone?
-Think about stuffs.

17. If you have a chance, which part of your character would you like to change?
-The part that let me lack of confident.

18. One word to describe yourself.
-LAME!

19. How 'bad' do you consider yourself as a girlfriend?
-Do i need to change the girlfriend to boyfriend?
If dun need, i think very bad.
If change le, i think not bad.

20. Your biggest wish?
-To be with her happily forever

Me tag :
Basically i think the people im going to tag don't even bother so anyone that read this and is interested, please do so. LoL.

2008-05-21T03:13:00.002+08:00

Well well
In order not to disappoint someone anymore, here i am once again back at my blog.
This will be wordy. Trust me. Lol

Thursday 1/5/08
Finally a public holiday and can escape from Mp
A BBQ party at joanna place with gf and co.
Went there with gf pretty early, helped out alittle.
Swimming at night.
Fun swimming with gf for the first time.
Whens the next time? =D

Friday 2/5/08
Mp as per normal.
Girlfriend went to my place after school and decided to stay over for the night. Hehe
pei her back home to take her stuffs and back to my place.
I just love it when girlfriend stay over for the night. =D

Sunday 4/5/08
Swimming in the morning with my three brothers.
I really fall in love with swimming le.
Good exercise and can train my stamina. =D
Home sweet home after that.

Thursday 8/5/08
First month anniversary!!!
HEHEHE =)
but still got mp la.
After school, gf came over to my place and we exchange presents.
Gf made me something special and i love it alot. Thank you gf!! =D
But i get her something MORE special! LoL
I can tell from her laughter when she saw it. haha
Then we went to search for her swimwear but due to many limitations.
She didnt get any.
Haf our dinner at suntec and gf brought me donuts!! =>

Friday 9/5/08
Early in the morning call my group members out for donuts.
I shared with them. how nice of me rite. LoL
And stupid Xinyi, please dun say i lame anymore. Share with you still say me. =D
And gf made me breakfast.
So so touched!!!
lol

Saturday 10/5/08
Went out with my wonderful gal and watched ironman
I wanted to watch that. Everyone around me that watch it keep telling me the same thing.
"Its nice, go watch" , "Damn cool, quick go watch" Lol
Asked gf to pei me watch but at first still scared she not interested but turned out she still think its nice. LoL
And we already got a list of our next next next movies to catch. How fast. =D

After the movie was food, food and more food.
The basement of taka is a paradise for me!! LoL
Durian ice-cream to takoyaki to crystal jade's chicken wing to the boneless thigh, to a bottle of mineral water!! LoL
Thats dinner for the day le. =D
And gf still haf ice cream on the way home.
Addicted to ice cream i guess. haha

Sunday 11/5/08
Another day for swimming!!
Swimming in the morning with my three brothers again.
Had our lunch at the cc next to frank house
Hao and me went to work after that.
Its at farrer park and all i can say is "how come the world seems so dark after work?" LoL

After work meet up with gf.
still say want to fetch me? LoL
Went to kovan for pungol nasi lemak.
And thats when i realized i got a very big problem with places on the Northeast line.
But cant blame me ma.
Already say is pungol nasi lemak le, why at kovan??
STupid!!! hahaha
After dinner went heartland mall walk walk.
First time there, the place like so wulu wulu like that but inside got alot of shops i never expected to be there.
Anyway that day i missed the last bus and i gonna cab home!! SIAN!!

Oh by the way, gf is so sweet that day. =>

Monday 12/5/08
I know quarrels are something that will happen.
I don't like it of course.
But it seem like its good once in a while.
Now i love you more eunice goh.
OR maybe its the opposite way? LOL!

Tuesday 13/5/08
OK! This is the day gf got addicted by a game due to the sian-ness of mp.
POKEMON!!!
She went searching for multiplayer emulator for pokemon with her grp members and even went to my place after school and asked me to play with her. LOL
Krazi gal! =D

Wednesday 14/05/08
Today is the day she got addicted to another game. Harvest moon!! Haha
And i tell you, this is really ADDICTED!!! Right gf? =p
I think harvest moon gg to be more impt then me liao. LOL

Friday 16/05/08
Blading after school with gf and co.
This is like my second or third time playing only.
but the first time is like only walking with the blade nia so not counted la. =D
Fun! Easier then ice skating.
But cannot use my two fingers style, if not gf gg to kill me. HAHA
Dinner at bk and home sweet home.

Saturday 17/05/08
Working day.
Meet up with hao and went over to farrer park but was wrong location.
was outram park so went over then know we are working at pasir ris for that day.
Kao. Like travelling around so much liao then know it was at pasir ris which is one station away from tampines (our starting location).
DIAO!!

This time working with another two partners huiying and daphanie.
Friendly person but at least got someone else, if not is me and hao again.
SO sian!!

Anyway gf came and find me. So happy!!
And she look so sweet and cute that day. Totally in love with her. haha.
Saw AJ, wangjun and my freshie also. LoL
Haf our lunch at tm after wrk with gf and hao.
Then intend to watch movie de but i was too tired and gf's legs is aching so went over to my place and ..... SLEEP!!
+ harvest moon + drama + food dragged all the way
=D
Stay over at my place for the night again due to i bu she de let her home. HEHE
keep bugging her and she really stay overnight. WHAHAHAHA!

I love it when the first thing i see when i opened my eyes early in the morning is my beloved eunice! =D
Hehe

Ps-ed hao and co for swimming. So sorry. =>

After sending gf home, went to aunt's house for bbq.
Belated mother day's celebration. HAHA
How weird!

Was back home quite early.
Wanted to wait for gf to be back from her ktv session with her friends but was too tired.
Fall asleep and she was back at 6 in the morning. So scary!
At least i managed to wake up and pick up her call. hEhe =D

Tuesday 20/05/08
Another boring day of mp in school of course.
But i was quite happy today as one of the circuits i been doing finally worked!!
Im damn high when i saw the LED light up. LoL
And i found a very fun game in xinyi's psp today.
It was such a fun game for me so i put it in gf's psp. Hehehe!
But i didnt get to play it at all. DIAO lor. lol
But its ok la since pei gf is much much more impt.
Im not those gamer type anyway.

After school
went home to dropped my stuffs
Tm with gf for dinner.
And i saw zh,ky,jena,kh,botak,xavier and alvina.
So many ppl! lol

And i ate alot again.
Today gf finally say that i seem fatter!! FINALLY!!
its about time le ba.
I been eating like damn lot since we are tgt. Lol

Anyway weihao came to join us after dinner
we haf our coffee-cum-chitchat session at ah wang in century sqr.
and den home!!

Gf seem unhappy after she reach home but i so late then realized.
im sry!
And don't worry,
I believe whatever you say.
=>

dun be sad sad le.
I want see the BIG BIG SMILE =D

Gf is my LOVE!

2008-05-12T13:08:00.002+08:00

At times i will spend some time thinking,
will you be ashame when walking with me around in school?
Don't blame me for thinking this cause i experienced it before and it don't feel good.

Just when everything seem so wonderful yesterday.Whenever we are in school, its just another feeling you're giving me.

Ok. We are eating with your friends.
Its normal that you'll pay more attention to them but this ignoring feeling you are giving me is somehow like those you are giving to your not so like friends.
Its totally different from whenever we meet outside.
Is school and outside so much different to you?

Don't blame me for being frustrated.
Its like i having two totally different feelings from you and i don't understand why.

2008-04-24T18:18:00.003+08:00

Back here again!!

If i get anymore lazy, someone will get angry. Haha.

Somemore im waiting for da xiaojie to end her meeting so might as well blog since i haven been blogging for some time le.
Okies.
First thing i want to say.
My desktop gave up le, it spoilt!!! AHHHHHHHH!!
I dun believe this. Well, guess i haven been letting it rest much thats y.
What worst is that i was in school for MTC and i cant get it work when i returned that day.

Right till this very moment, i still haven find the time to repair it but just hope its the power supply box which is the cause then the motherboard.
If not i gonna buy a new comp le. NO WAY!!!

Ok. Next.
SHE finally become my girlfriend.
Eunice goh!!
080408!

Im really very very happy about this.
Even though there are some problems that arise with her friends cause of this, everything have been settled.
CAUSE NO MATTER WHAT!!!
I won't let anything affect our relationship.

Eunice, this is for you.
I cant say there won't be any problem but i promise you that no matter what problem arise, i'll try my very best to solve it.

Oh, and thanks all my friends that sent me their blessing.

Weijie especially!!
Blessing all the way from beijing and in chinese version somemore. haha
Thanks. jie ge!!

Next up.
WEEK 0!!

Joined as FA.
FA Rocks!!!

Overall fun and entertaining.
Know alot alot alot of new friends. All so friendly and fun to play with.
Too much to name, you know who you are la.
But one to specify. ANDREW!!
Thanks for everything during the camp, wont know what to do without you around with the class and some other things.
About your that someone in boon lay. Remember to invite me on big occassion hor.
I played a big part too. (according to myself) hahaha.

Next up, MP/SIP started and everyone should know that.
Its BORING!!

Everyday you gonna wake up early and keep looking at the clock just to be sure you won't be late EVEN FOR ONE MIN!!!
So stressing la!!
And when you reached on time, you got nothing to do.
Sit in the lab with your friends staring at the comp and the notes you research on but you dont understand a bit.
Sian!!!

But i keep getting out of the lab to find girlfriend so overall still can la. LoL
Meeting her for lunch and teabreak.
And girlfriend is so nice to bring her lappy to school everyday to lend me use even when she cant use it in her own lab.
Hehehe.

Last week, i bring girlfriend over to ahma's house for dinner.
Its her first time meeting my relatives and she was so nervous la. how funny. hahha
Nervous till she skipped her favourite crab!! Now you can tell how nervous she is. LOL
Well, im glad that she can get along with my relatives.

Last two days, bring girlfriend over to my house for dinner.
My dad is the one cooking
Ok. Thats rare!!
Girlfriend, see how lucky you are!!! hahaha

Happy that she and my parents can get along too.
And she told me she is glad that my parents treat her very good.
Hehehe.
See, i told you they are very nice person.

Write so much le and girlfriend still haven finish her meeting.
Still can walk past me to go toilet.
Nice, now you know you are not the one always waiting for me le ba!! =D

Ok la. Dont know what to write le.
Just ended my MP/SIP. Tired le.
Will be back when my stupid desktop is up and running.
And photos will be here soon i think.
LoL =D

2008-04-01T01:37:00.000+08:00

I finally log in blogger.
Tot i should have alot to talked about but when im facing this white blank page.
I don't know what to write.

Today wasnt a good day for me but i just came in to blog about what i have been doing this one whole month of missing period.

Where did i last stopped?
Main exams.
Well, main exams are over for sure, even supp papers are over. =D

Still remember i meet jeanie and joey on friday (29/2)
Went to marina square for k-box session.
First time there with them.
Haha. Fun but jeanie seems abit reluctant to sing. LoL
Shy maybe? Who knows? =D
Anyway after kbox session,
joey need to go somewhere and obviously i don't remember wheres that "somewhere"
So jeanie and i went T3 for dinner and some sightseeing.
Sightseeing? Turned out that i was kena tortured by jeanie lor.
She just cant decide on a place for dinner.
So we went from T3 to T2 then T1 then back to T3 then T2.
I CANT REMEMBER HOW MANY TIMES BUT ALOT OF TIMES!
In the end swensens for dinner.
What can i say? Gals just cant make up their mind.

Don't wish to make my blog that wordy so here come the pics.

*You can see, Jeanie really love L.

*Ok. Flowers are nice but i think this look more like a Big fan. =D

*i find the design interesting.

Sunday (2/3)
Feel like doing something for her.
She wanted chocolate and she got them.
Additional some sushi and bubble tea. but the sushi ended up somewhere i guess
Went to her house and meet her.
It was a rush cause she was going out.

She say "If you did that for a girl, she'll be touched."
I wondered if she was touched?
But i still got myself 25 questions which i still haven use it yet.

Monday (3/3 to 4/3)
Went to catch "Meet the spartans" at suntec with sy, weijie, candy, zhiyan and vanesa.
Boring! I watched before.
Went sy's house after that,
gambling, watching tv, slacking is all we did.
whats more?
Someone played the piano while i was sleeping. Didnt heard a thing.
Too bad. Haha =D Next time ba.

Next morning.
WJ went home first and the rest of us went for breaksfast.
Ahh. Kinda weird cause breaksfast don't usually come so early for me
Home sweet home.
Didnt sleep the moment i reached home. Must be crazy.

Wed (5/3)
Nothing much!
Woke up, meet hao, went for a haircut.
He dyed his hair. Guess he don't really like the outcome. =D

Thurs (6/3)
Meet hao again, went IT fair trying to get myself a webcam.
haha. The reason i want to get one was pretty lame but im just silly at times.
Cant help it. =D
IT fair sucks. I just don't like crowded places with people squeezing around me!
Well, i saw zhiyan working there. only her.
But heard that alot of my friends are working there too but i didnt get to see them.
I was just trying to get the hell out of that place A.S.A.P

But still i didnt get my webcam there.
I brought it at simlim.
At least i dun have to squeeze right. Thats a pretty good reason for me to get it there.

Tuesday (11/3)
Ermmm
Another day out with tarvos members.
Sy, yongzhi, candy and zhiyan.
Iceskating.
well, sy suggested it.

What do u expect me to say.
Im the one falling the most of course.
Lots of fun but im just lazy to write in details.

But i should just apologize to zhiyan here once again.
Dui bu qi!
Hope the plasters do the work. =>

Went causeway point for dinner.
Walking around as usual.
Trip home was funny.
Woodlands --> Hougang --> Sengkang --> Tampines.
when
Woodlands --> Bus 168 --> Tampines.
=D

On the way back,
I remember i was thinking when i was there for the first time with you.
How do i feel toward you at that time? =D

Let pics do the talking ba.

Oh. And i realized i was hurt too.

Thursday (13/3)
Went for a rather stupid interview. Don't want to say much.
Don't think i'll get the job anyway.

Was alone at bugis doing nothing and rather sad by my exam result.
Actually i saw this coming. Who to blame? Myself lor.
So i called hao and happened that frank and bk was with him.
Doing what? Mhf of course.
Meet them as i was too bored.
Slacked there for a few hours and have mac for dinner.

On the way back home.

I took this pic.
I love this pic. Nothing special i know but i just like it.
Random me.

Friday (14/3)
Meet shaowei for the first time. LoL
Kinda weird.
First time out with her.
Have lunch at tm.
And trained over to vivo to meet her friends.
Davin and meryl

Catch rule #1 at vivo.
Home sweet home without dinner.
I got no appetite that night.

Sat (15/3)
Home all day.
The only funny thing i remembered about this day is that shaowei asked me about "something". =D

Monday to Friday (17/3 - 21/3)
Remedial lessons for supp is all i can say.

Sunday (23/3)
Went gym with hao in the morning !
After that was home all day preparing for supp.

Wed (26/3)
Last supp paper!!
Meet jeanie. Intended to catch crows zero at vivo but turned out that we cant reach on time so changed venue to cine.

Joke of the day.
City hall and bugis is very far apart. (considering to the singapore map jeanie is using) =>

Intended to watch vantage point but turned out that the time doesnt allowed too.
So walked around orchard road to let jeanie get familiar. haha
I realized that i always get to walk ALOT when i with jeanie.

Well, the rest of the day was spend finding food for miss jeanie.
she love her fried mars bar. hmm. i find it ok only. =D

Friday (28/3)
FA meeting in school.
Edance was fun. Im still learning.
Hmm. but i end up learning all the dance moves for the gals.
Grrr.
Eunice goh, you still owe me a dance hor. RMB!
Or i owe you? Its the same anyway. =>

Meet eunice and her friends for dinner at botak jones.
Pretty tasty!! but filling.
Im so bloated after dinner. The work of eunice's cajun chicken.
Haha

so long didnt have a walk with her.
Still as fun as always. =>
walked to 85 market for a drink and walked all the way back to tampines.
Haha. Shocking that she willing to walk.
But that phone of her kept ringing the whole night. How i wish i could off it!!
Walked past bedok res.
i send her home. And i tot she will reject me.
(At the bus-stop, she finally get her hand on my phone. =D

I just loved the journey from the bus stop to her house.
But i find it abit short. =(
She pei me waited for cab and told me something i wasnt that shocked to know.
Den i feel that my shoulder hurts. haha =>
Cabbed home after that and i gonna say the cab driver was funny.

Overall,
A pretty sweet day for me. =>

Sun(30/3)
Meet eunice for lunch at tm.
She was late but i still kena blamed. unfair.
She looks sweet that day. (I mean it) =D
Lunched at qiji.

Do you know whenever you are with me, feel so happy and every conversation was so fun.
She came over my house after lunch. I know she wont say much about this in her blog.
Her whole focus was on some drama!! DIAO!

Supposed to catch a movie but we overlooked the time so i asked her to pei me for the day.
But life's unpredictable.
That phone of hers is what i hated most!!
Guess what? Phone rang and she have to go.
ARGHHHHH!!
I don't feel good about this AT ALL!!
But what to do, when i saw that look on her face.
Despite the unwillingness, i still let her go. =<
Send her to the bus stop and she did something really sweet to me. =>

I don't know whether i should be blogging about all of this.
I scared nothing of this mean much to you.
Although now everything is like what i want.
I still feel danger.
Everytime you gave me that look on your face. The one without your smile.
I would think that you must be thinking something i know i never want you to think about.
Just what are we now?
Can you tell me?

Meet hao and went to bugis.
Hao wanted to get a pouch for his external harddisk.
but i got myself a pouch for my phone instead. haha =D

Today
didnt went for cheers test.
and tml's mtc camp.
Everyone seems so excited about it. including her.
but im not.
No idea why.
Shouldnt have joined FA.
Its fun but i there are many malays.
Nothing wrong about that. its my problem. just finding a hard time clicking with malays.
=D
well, time to packed for the camp.

Hope the next update won't be one month away.
LoL =D

2008-02-25T01:17:00.004+08:00

I just updated my blog an hour ago but i feel like updating again.

Just being random.

Recently i just changed my internet browser to mozilla firefox instead of IE.
(Recommended by hao)
Therefore i gonna moved all my bookmarks and i came across this.

Its a personality test and i find it rather accurate.
I asked shaowei to do and she think its accurate too but she dun want let me see the result of her personality test. =(
I told her i will blog about my result and here it is.

Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education
Education is less important than the real world out there, away from the classroom. Deep inside you want to start working, earning money and living on your own.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

More random stuffs!!

NGSHAOWEI say i should have more happy ending in my posts. hahaha
I guess if i dun do so, my "name" is gonna get longer and longer. =D
(shaowei, you better make sure you remember the whole "name".)
LOL

2008-02-25T00:17:00.004+08:00

Feel like updating my blog once again.

Cktcs and netinfrast papers tml and i got no confident at all.
I really did nothing this sems.
I think supp papers are waiting for me already.
Haiis. I just hope i study real hard for my supp and just get along with my year3.

Anyway went over to xinyi's hse to study today.
First time to her house and i cant even recognized her.
I mean she look kinda "different" at home compared to her when outside. LoL =D

Here's the pic.
Just imagine yourself. =D

Went over at 2 plus.
And she treated me " bai guo ...." dunno wad desert. Nice!!
But
After a while more, she got hungry and wanted to eat.
So she cooked curry maggi mee for herself AND me too. Hahaha
I get to taste her cooking. Not bad but its just maggi mee leh. =D
But its curry!! and people that know me will be aware that i cant take spicy stuffs
therefore i having alot of troubles with the soup.
hahahaha
But thanks for the noodle anyway. Heee =D

Study till 9pm. Actually i been watching the tv since 8. LoL =D
Seldom addicted to tv but that drama is so interesting and i kept asking questions about the show. haha

Exams quick end ba. I want go enjoy myself at chalet.
Hao asked me to go his friend's chalet and i still got Tarvos chalet. YEAH!!
I just need a break. Not from studying. I been slacking so much this sems.
Just hope to get myself off thinking so much.

Thats it for now.

Actually im not thinking that much anymore.
But im still missing you at times.

Am i going to deleted everything that link to those memories about you?
Its like struggling inside myself.

I realized:
Love leaves people helpless.
And the deeper your love, the helpless you get.

2008-02-24T00:32:00.005+08:00

I decided to blog again since i haven been updating my blog.

CNY this year is boring.
Stomach been giving me alot of pain since day 1. (got no idea why) Hao ke lian!
And i never get to gambled at all due to that till last sunday when my cousins came to my hse.

Anyway xin and hui came to my house last sunday. Inn came too.
Mahjong!! But only for awhile.
At night was "yu sheng" time!!

Now whats next?
Exams!! =(
Studied PEdrives with xinyi in school on thursday till 8 plus.
End up talking. LoL =D

And Miss NGSHAOWEI asked me to remind her that she got a maths paper on friday.
I wondered "How blur can she get?" LoL =D
Oh, i shldnt say that cause she doesnt even know how to get to sports hall!!! hahaha

22/2/2008
Friday was PEdrives paper and it sucks. =< Sian!! Two papers on monday!! Cktcs and Netinfrast papers. The two subjects i got the higest chance of passing. Jia you ba!

Shaowei
I didnt know you still got come read my blog de.
Im so touched. I'll link you soon by the way. haha =D

After listen to what xinyi asked me to do, im lost.
Im still thinking whether i should.
But jeanie told me differently.

Someone please help me decide! Should I or should i not?
But even if i make the choice,
Can i do it and will i regret after making the choice?

2008-02-14T18:08:00.011+08:00

Valentine's day!
Went to school to do some touch-up on my cktcs project and interview.
Home after that.
(I remembered wad happened on this day a year ago and you came to my mind but it doesnt matter anymore)
Saw these two quizs while surfing the net and i done it due to curiousity.

This is a Valentine's truth survey.

So dont lie.

1.Do you like anyone?:

- Ya.

2. Are you a flirty:

- I guess everyone is.

3. Are you a player?

- No.

4. Would you get back together with any of your ex's?

- No.

5. Have you ever kissed anyone on your top friends?

- Ya.

6. Do you want a valentine?:

- whats the point when the one you wanted to be with don't think that way.

7. Have you slept over at the opposite sex's house?

- Guess so.

8. Do you prefer group dates or single ones?

- Single.

9. Would you kiss light or make out sessions?

- Kiss light.

10. Do you like cuddling up while watching a movie?

- Definitely.

11. Any plans for valentines day?

- Nope, not at all.

12. What's the best valentines day present for a girl?

- Anything from "him"

13. For a guy?

- Anything from "her"

14. Are you single or taken?

- Single

Another one!

1. What's the connection between you and the last person that called you?

- Friends

2. Do you ever turn your cell phone off?

- Seldom. Always wishing for her to call.

3. What happened at 10:00 am today?

- Hmm. Having my orgcom test.

4. When did you last cry?

- Few days back.

5. What is your favorite thing to eat with peanut butter?

- Bread? I could just eat peanut butter without anything.

6. What do you want in your life right now?

- Good results and hopefully "her".

7. Do you carry an umbrella when it rains, or just put up your hood?

-Depends. sometime i love the rain.

8.Do you wear Crocs?

- No.

9. What do you smell like?

- Human? Haha.

10. What's your favorite Gatorade flavor?

- Sry, i don't understand.

11. Whats your favorite thing to have on your bed?

- "Her"? That sounds weird rite. =D

13. What's the nicest text in your inbox say?

- "Miss me? Haha. Dun no mood mahs.Must enjoy your 3 days okays. I missyou so so much! Hugs hugs"

14. Do you tend to make relationships complicated?

- I tried not to. but sometimes it just turns out to be when you are in it.

15. Are you wearing anything you borrowed from someone?

- No.

16. What was the last movie you went to see?

- CJ7

17. Do you have Justin Timberlake music on your iPod?

- No.

18. Do you live near your ex boyfriend/girlfriend?

- Not really.

19. Can you sleep in jeans?

- Definitely.

20. Are you a cuddler?

- Hmm, I am. I like the feeling.

22. Something you just don't understand?

- Why think that every guy is the same based on what an individual done to you?

23. Where were you on July 4th, 2007?

- At home blogging.

24. What does the last text message you received say?

- I dun haf the last msg. But the last one in my inbox is "Hehe!! Like that how to neutralize your anger on me!!"

25. What did you reply?

- Best not to write it here.

26. Who was the last person you were in a car with that is under 20?

- Sengyong.

27. What is the last thing someone bought you?

- A birthday card.

28. When was the last time you saw number 3 on your top friends?

- huh?

29. Will you kiss the last person you kissed again?

- Definitely but i dun think it will happen.

30. Do you trust people easily?

- I do.

31. Do you say "dawg"?

- wads that?

32. What are you proud of?

- I got nothing to be proud of i guess.

33. Have you ever dated someone named Adam?

- Of cos not.

34. Who was last to cook for you?

- The uncle wrking in the coffeeshop.

Just being random.

Now more random stuffs.

Forgot is which tuesday le.
Jeanie asked me out for movie.
In the end no movie due to someone got "age limit" and most of the movie are M18! LoL =D
So walk around for food!!
and i got one more nick for her.
"P square"!! (Dun kill me jeanie ) =D

Pic of the day!

Im a rabbit!! =D

And i saw alot of jeanie there! Piggy!!
But she dun let me take any pics. Grrrr!
Anyway aaron came to meet us and dinner for that day sucks!
Dun want to think of it le.

9th Feb
Went out with candy, zhiyan and sy.
Was late therefore meet the "late queen" first and got our tickets for the movie Kungfu dunk at cine.
Quite a nice show. Funny yet touching. And VERY kuang zhang.
There was a funny part at the start of the show where the teacher read the title of manual.
I cant stop laughing at that and zhiyan was staring at me. LoL =D

After the show, we walked around abit and went to pool at dhoby ghaut. First time playing with them.
All so pro, im so lousy! haha
Zhiyan went off early to meet her friends.
And the three of us haf our dinner at PS after the game.
As usual, candy complaint that her leg hurts due to her shoes. =D

After that sy and me send candy home.
Then we toured around Singapore!! LoL =D
Talked abit "stuffs".
Ended up in jurong and cabbed home.

p/s I wrote this days ago and i frgt to post it out and now i dunno which day it was. Lost! =D

2008-02-05T01:11:00.000+08:00

I haven been really blogging for so long le.
Been some time le. EVERYONE been complaining! =D
So im here to do some serious blogging in order not to let naggy shaowei down since she really installed the programme i asked her to last night. haha

Lets talk about december ba.

First of all.
20th Dec 07
Uncle's wedding!! Wooo.

Coming up next! More pics!
First up. Muack muack!
This was the only pic taken by me as the only photographer for the day was too short for this task. =D

Im strong!

Jay Ng!

Hungry!

Seriously i got absolutely no idea whats so fun about yahoo pool!

Whats this?! Blur!

Camwhore! Hip hop version

Act cute version!

Ah! I got myself a wife too! Hehe

Ahem! No fighting please!

They didnt listen to me and therefore I joined in the fight!! =D
Round 1!

Round 2!
kick me?

Butt attack!!

Round 3!!

I'm losing! Lol

END! (What you looking at?)

27th Dec 07
Tarvos outing at sentosa!!

Sand castle!!

Next! Time to get in the water!!
First up
Victim = Susan
Culprit = Melrick, weizheng and sengyong

Victim = Clair
Culprit = Aaron, melrick and me!

Victim = Meryl
Culprit = Aaron, sengyong and me!

I was attacked too. GRRRR!!
I never realized until melrick and aaron was behind me. =D

Sand king and queen!

We buried meryl NAKED!! OMG!! Whahahas

Dinner at vivo!!
And saw this very beautiful christmas tree!

Next is my birthday!
Thanks everyone for all those wishes.
I only got a birthday card this year. Better then nothing.
Anyway i really LOVE the card. Thanks for the card to you-know-who.

Next is countdown for 2008
1st Jan 2008
Hmmm, Too long liao.
I forgot go where le. Just that we catch AVP2 and watch the firewrks.
And also ALOT of walking! I bet no one frgt that ba. LoL
SO let the pictures do the talking.

Zhiyan and candy

Sengyong,me,yongzhi and clement

CREEPY PIC!
Seriously ignore the black thingy. Freak us out. right everyone?

The "Lame" icon recognized by Tarvos! LoL

Both of them are just acting cute. =X lol

Tired after ALOT of walking! =D

Now i was forced to take this pic cause i kena the foam on my hair.
But the problem now is Who the one that pulled my ears huh?!! Grrr! LoL =D

Now whats next?
TP OPEN HOUSE!
Three days but i was late for two days. =D
Was bus guide for the first day and the school allocated to me was pioneer sec. IN JURONG. omg!
I was supposed to go there by myself and ALONE!
But i did my job to get the class over to tp and guide them around.
oya, before i frgt. one idiot stole my ezlink card and ran off while i was following the class. Grrr!
After finally get the class back to their bus. I WAS A FREE MAN!! whahas
Saw Candy,Xinyi and joey. Crapped abit and started discussing about what to spray on our i-guides shirt.
After that was being asked by dunno who to get all the goodies bags near IT sch to dunno where.
And being the only gentlemen there and for the three of them to be especially GIRLY!
They threw everything on me.
Therefore,

Do i look bulky? =D
I compared with that guy beside and i won with the number of 14 bags! whahas.
Credits to the three gals of course. LoL

They just love the paper guy you see. =D

Second and third day was late.
First of all. Sry to ps-ed jie ge when we agreed not to wear jeans for the second day.
Anyway i was finally not bus guide which mean i could go for the mass dance!! YEAH!
I followed sengyong and jeanie to being engine welcome party for the second day.
Learned alot of cheers and it was so fun. Didnt danced much for the second day.
For the third day, i reached the school only when mass dance start. Lol
Frgt what did i do le cause too many running around. =D
Hao and frank came too but we didnt got much time for them. Sry! =D
Jam and hop at night!! How fun! It must be weird seeing me dance.
Anyway those actions i did considered dancing? Whahahahas.
Betrayed i-guides during jam and hop cause of eunice.
Then went slacking at atomic club for awhile.
Eunice pei me went back to i-guides for my stuffs and to return joey her ezlink.
Went off with her for supper, slacking session and home.

18th jan 2008
Meet with jeanie and aaron to help jeanie for her whatever assignemnts but end up taking alot of funny pics.
here to share!

Trying to save me or ? =D

Anyway i dyed my hair for the first time.

Movie marathon in school last friday(1/2/2008).
Feel good that i can be with you for even a night but i know its not going to last.

CHINESE NEW YEAR 2nd Feb 2008
I wasnt feeling well and it ruined my day.
I realized that when one person get real sick, he/she will want someone that is most impt to him/her to be beside.
But it turned out that normally it wun be that way.

这个世界上有三种人
一种是好人，心地善良的人
一种是坏人，无恶不做的人
另一种就是不好也不坏的人。
这三种人，哪一种是最没用的呢？
应该是后者，而我也刚好属于后者。

想好来说，我不是完美的
想坏来说，我对你就是狠不下心
有时，真的很想跟你划清界线
因为我终觉得对你而言，我可有可无
有没有都无所谓。
或者只是个可以让你把对其他男人的不满和抱怨都放在我身上的一个人。

你有了男朋友，我无所谓
他伤害了你，而你给的结论就是所有男人都是一样的
所以现在的你宁愿伤害别人。

你能不能想个更自私的方法来对我呢?
算了! 反正说了这么多,你还是会坚持你的想法.

"三个心愿" by F.I.R
我喜欢你的眼神温柔又危险
请不要戴上眼镜我会看不见
想要张开双手把你宝贝
想和你天天见面
想带你环游世界
我喜欢你爱逞强笨笨的笑脸
在心中抬头挺胸坚定的信念
这个辽阔世界不够完美
但有了你在我身边什么都很ok
第一个心愿为你把幸福堆积
天涯到海角头发到呼吸
第二个心愿给你最好的自己
再许个心愿我的爱把你占领
哦~~~
为什么为了小事就要掉眼泪
好象有太多的事只能自己背
其实只要你说一句ok
现在就立刻马上变成你的superman
这世上最重要的不止是誓言
只要你常常记得亲亲我的脸
我会永远记得这个今天
还有很久的那一天我也要有你陪

下一个心愿给你最好的自己

2008-02-04T01:21:00.000+08:00

Due to Naggy shaowei, i haf to come in and blog.

Shaowei, install install!! LoL =D

2008-01-21T22:48:00.001+08:00

Out of nowhere, you suddenly appear in my life once again.

But i don't know why, i feel weird.
I cant afford to be like before.

You say you don't know what you want.
I cant have you having problems with him and still wanted to feel being loved.
I love you and i always do.
But you cant just do that to me.
"Just feel like being loved?"

Ya.
I say i will always be there for you when you need me and i did
but i got emotions and feelings too.

Im afraid. Your heart is still with him.
You cant forget him; I cant forget you.

What if another person appear Again?
Will you just leave me again?

Sometime when you talk to me, i feel like you are trying to get me to say something.
But even if i say it, things won't change.

2007-12-24T17:04:00.000+08:00

话题，装扮，感觉都已经不同了。
你终于让我明白我已经不属于你的世界。
可能把两个世界分割开的人是我，但你也这样对过我，不是吗？
每当你接听电话的时候，
我都在想应该做什么才能装作我根本不在乎的样子。
整个晚上，每当感觉来的时候，我都在心里告诉自己
“许文聪，已经跟从前不一样了，为什么你就是放不下她呢？“

我有尝试想进入你的世界，一个你属于的世界。不知道你有没有发现

我真的很想你！为什么会搞到这个样子？

原来你已经在我不熟系的世界过新的生活。
能不能也让我陪着你呢？

2007-12-20T05:37:00.000+08:00

Should be sleeping rather then blogging at this time.

Yawn!!
Tired! Tired! Tired!

Christmas is coming!
Santa Claus is coming to town!
I prefer he knock on the door then coming down from the chimney
but wait,
i dun haf any chimney in the first place. =D

Oh.
Happy birthday to Puibabe!
Sorry i wasnt able to join in the celebration. *And i miss the chance to meet the cutest of all. Princess!!
Got something on. Sorry =)
But by the fact that i wish u here
you can see that ur birthday matters alot to me! =D

Is december ending soon?
Hope it doesnt.
December always my favourite month.
Just simply too wonderful!

Tuesday went back to school for iguides packing day.
Tiring yet fun.
Its like a gathering for tarvos members. LoL
Anyway will soon have an tarvos outing next week.
Happy Happy Happy!
Hope more tarvos members will be going.
tata.

2007-12-09T13:41:00.000+08:00

Im getting very frustrated right now.

Wanting to study for my term test which is tomorrow.
First, my internet is down.
And due to it, i cant check the timetable for the term test.
And when its finally back.

Then my parents for god sake keep opening my door, coming in my room for no good reason.
Came in, look around the room for a few seconds and went out again.
Do they know that i get very frustrated with them coming in all the time?
Just need some piracy!!
Whats so special about my room?!
Then came in asking me to help them find marker.
How in the blue hell m i supposed to know where the markers are?

And the next moment,
My neighbour above me start to haf some sorts of construction work going on.
With those drilling and those knocking.
Im going crazy!!

I wanted to study but with all these things happening,
its getting me nowhere.

I don't want this to go on anymore.
The pain and feelings you are giving me every moment i think of you.

If this continues,
it'll make me care too much.

And the more i care, the more i'll lose
and that feelings get stronger.

Maybe its better if i ...

And i realized you won't even think about me when everything is ok.
when "Your rainbow is back."

2007-12-06T23:07:00.000+08:00

Don't know how should i be feeling about her the past few days.

Don't know what im trying to do telling her all that.

She told me things bothering her.
Glad? Upset?

Was glad that she decided to do that.
But i know she wasnt that determined afterall.
Well, i cant control it.
Its her heart.
Its how she felt about him.
I cant cross the border.

I was wondering.
She felt anything towards me?
Or she knew that i will always be there.

She totally ignored what i say to her other then that.
Acting blur? Don't feel like answering?
Isnt it a bit too late for that?
Well,
if she doesnt want to say anything.
No one can forced her. No one.
Especially not me.

Just to be the person whenever she need someone.
Am i trying to act holy here?
I aint that good.

The things she say to him.
Don't say something when you don't mean it.
That'll only result in more pressure in between.

I don't know.

To be frank, i won't be happy if you are with him.
but i won't be happy too if you are not cause i know you won't be happy that way.

So what should i do?

07 december 2007

Six months. Half a year.
Half a year ago, i was really happy compared to now.
I think i really haf changed.
The person is different now. In some ways.

Time really flies.
I realized that time and the things and people around you doesnt wait.

2007-11-26T04:36:00.000+08:00

I never felt nothing in the world like this before
Now I'm missing you
& I'm wishing that you would come back through my door
Why did you have to go?
You could have let me know
So now I'm all alone,
Girl you could have stayed but you wouldnt give me a chance
With you not around it's a little bit more then i can stand
And all my tears they keep running down my face
Why did you turn away?

So why does your pride make you run and hide?
Are you that afraid of me?
But I know it's a lie what you keep inside
This is not how you wanted to be

So baby I will wait for you
Cause I don''t know what else i can do
Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life

Baby I will wait for you
If you think I'm fine it just aint true
I really need you in my life
No matter what i have to do
I'll wait for you

It's been a long time since you called me
(How could you forget about me)
You got me feeling crazy (crazy)
How can you walk away,
Everything stays the same
I just can't do it baby
What will it take to make you come back
Girl I told you what it is & it just ain't like that
Why can't you look at me, your still in love with me
Don't leave me crying.

Baby why can't we just start over again
Get it back to the way it was
If you give me a chance I can love you right
But your telling me it wont be enough

So baby I will wait for you
Cause I don''t know what else i can do
Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life

Baby I will wait for you
If you think I'm fine it just aint true
I really need you in my life
No matter what i have to do
I'll wait for you

So why does you pride make you run & hide
Are you that afriad of me?
But I know it's a lie what your keeping inside
Thats not how you wanted to be

Baby I will wait for you
Baby I will wait for you
If it's the last thing i do

Baby I will wait for you
Cause I don''t know what else i can do
Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life

Baby I will wait for you
If you think I'm fine it just aint true
I really need you in my life
No matter what i have to do
I'll wait for you

I'll Be Waiting.

2007-11-19T03:09:00.000+08:00

Well well
Im finally back here for some update!
=D

First of all
I saw this somewhere while surfing the net and this is like one of the result about me.

"Your relationships are not all exclusive -- sometimes, like it or not, you have to share the people you love in life. You should have plenty of confidence in the value you bring to your closest friends. Do not worry that someone's new friend or partner could change that personal connection. If you get too possessive about your relationship, you send a message that the assurance you need is more important that the other person's independence. It's a clear power play, and it won't be well-received."

How true! I think im getting too possessive bout relationship but i just don't know how to ensure that the person know the assurance i need is more important then her independence.
If i could know all this before you ever leave me. How nice it would be!

Anyway where should i start leh?
Seriously there is so much to say but i just don't know how to start.
Lets start from last week ba.

Last tues 6/11/07
Stupid xinyi called me to help her photocopy her cktcs textbook. That muddle-headed gal. Still haven get her book after so long.
So i help her to photocopy after school and meet her near my house cause she wanted to go my house to do some research for don't know what.
But in the end, she didnt do any research at all.
Diao!!
I was doing my homework for orgcom and she just played her friendster and doing a new blog for herself. with some uncondition help from me of course! Haha =D

Wednesday 7/11/07
Went for HT lesson and haf a change of classroom due to old one was locked for whatever reason it was.
Everyone group haf to think of a ad and draw out for whatever organisation we can think of and our group decided on zoo!
I do the drawing mainly and i even took a pic of it.
Wanted to post it out de but due to blogger got some maintence problem so cant post therefore i suppose this post will be God damn wordy! =D
Haha.
I will post the pic up once blogger allow me to do so

Thursday 8/11/07
What there to say? Deepavali which was a holiday just happened to let me sleep thru the day.
And ya, u got it!
I spend the whole deepavali sleeping.
Haha =p
I know i sleep like a pig but thats me! =D

Friday 9/11/07
Gosh! I forgotten about what i did for this day.

Saturday 10/11/07
Feeling boring the moment i woke up so was trying to find someone out to pei me de.
But
Great minds think alike!!
Hao send me a msg before i can think of who to find.
Bk was located by some miracles somehow and after some discussion.
Kbox time!!
Whooooo!
I love it! LoL. Its time for my awesome voice! LoL
Frank joined us too after meeting up the two of them.
Yeah! The more the merrier!
But we wasted some of our precious time due to the fact that we having some trouble deciding where to haf our singing session.
Nevertheless,
ended up in toa payoh somehow and singing session started!
Haf lots of fun with these sec sch mates of mine. LoL =D
Snatching tibits and snatching of mics. haha
I was holding on it all along. =p
Bk was unlucky that he haf to ask the person to refill our tibits for us but when the tibits was here, it was all snatched by the three of us and he get nothing!!
LoL =D
Thats life man! Get used to it! haha
When our time was nearly up,
all of us was so high that we jumping all over the room like insane!
LoL =D
Well,
We did sang some emo songs too.
And that particular song that i will think of you again.
I tot maybe if i went high. maybe. just maybe 痛觉会少一点
=D

But we still haf our fun. Laughing like mad.
Oh before i forgot.
Guys, remember the room opposition of us.
Whatever happened inside was damn hilarious and all of us was fighting to see it.
LoL =D

After that,
Went back to tampines to eat as frank and bk was meeting angeline.
Went back, haf our dinner, talked abit.
And we saw botak, craps a little too and i did prank him here and there a little.
Guys, u all shld know ba. shhhh keep it a secret. LoL =D
Angeline came after quite some time. So long didnt see her le.
Pei her go haf her dinner and i think she got some problems too ba.
Well, take care!
Went slack around after that and hao went home first.
In the end, all went home and frank and i was talking about ourselves after so long.
It was really long since both of us talked about ourselves.
We used to talk alot when we just knew each other during sec 2 if im not wrong.
Sounds so gay-ish but whatever.
Anyway was home at around 5am. Totally worned out.
Bed straight!

Sunday 11/11/07
Whole day pei mr zhou playing chess! LoL =D

Monday 12/11/07
Excited!!
Of course i wasnt excited about school. Thats for sure. LoL =D
School was as per usual.
After school went home straight and prepared myself.
What m i preparing for?
Miss joyjoy's birthday celebration!!
Finally!
Let me recall, i didnt celebrate her birthday last year.
So this year should do the job.

Dinner at Chijmes - Hogs Breath Cafe! (Did i get the name correct? Well, it shldnt be far from it =p )
As mention earlier on, blogger was having some problems so pics will be provided at a later time. Look forward to it but it can be found at those ppl's blog if you want.
Those people =

Kahying(SCB or SCM) *its her birthday for god sake
Ling jie jie *it was the first time for me to see that she edited some of the pics instead of just stealing the pics and post it up. =D
Vier *im not that bad to use the name they think of you so i just stick with "vier" ba =D
puibabe *How will he miss to post his most dearest birthday celebration?

After dinner was camwhoring time!
As usual photos was taken from all sort of places and all sort of angles.
And we caused one cam to no batt and another to nearly.
That was shocking wasnt it?
Another day that tire me out.

Tuesday 13/11/07
Went home for a nap after school.
Woke up at 8 plus and went hao's house to take some stuffs.
Saw his mum and i was like always so shy like that. LoL =D
Slacked at his house for awhile and home.

Wednesday 14/11/07
After orgcom lesson
asked engliang to pei me go apply LOA for my BTT.
Abit don't know what is required and all that due to the fact that it was the first time i was applying for it.
As much as you guys can guess, i was quite the guai kia in school. LoL =D
But i wasnt depending on the LOA too much as i didnt follow the rule that LOA need to be done one week before the actual date.
After that, parted with engliang as he went to meet zul.
Called vier and he was home so i went to library to find qr and gang.
Meet them and slacked abit here and there.
Xinyi came not long after.
Slacked abit more after they went for their cds.
Meet up with aaron, alvina and jason for our proposal before going for our cds.
Cds lesson was kinda boring as we need to do our project liao.
Diao!
during the lesson,
Qr suddenly mention something.
regarding you, well, not much about you but it haf something to do with you.
I would rather she didnt mention but the fact that she did.
I wondered how she get to know that piece of information.
Hmmm =@

Well, wasnt much before lesson ended and we went our seperate ways.
I walk aaron and alvina to the bus stop with jason and went back school to meet bK to pass him the forms for iguides.
Meet him and he was going to the library to do some research for his project.
Something to do with ISO.
So i pei him and help him to find some useful information. Was wondering how come other people's project research always seems so easier to find? LoL =D
Didnt want to go home after that so pei him talk a little at my house void deck.
But ended up we chatted till 11plus.
=p

Thursday 15/11/07
Didnt went school so meet up with hao and yihming at our school bus stop.
Then meet with bK to passed him the form cause i forgot to pass to him after the chat last night.
Diao!
Then the three of us went to tm for our lunch and walk walk around be4 we went to haf our BTT.
Oh
while we walk around tm, we saw tammi.
Well, don't need much of introduction.
Gosh! Its the first time i saw her in person.
I must say she really is above my average or maybe mine wasnt that high in the first place. hehe =p
Anyway her complexion was really good and she was like so white.
Well basically i just think she was really sweet looking and thats bout it.

Hao was the first to notice her.
Hahaha. I must say hao still is good at spotting chio bu leh. LoL =D

Slacked for awhile more and off we went to cdc.
Reached there and haf our etrial.
It was my first time taking and i wasnt that sure what to do.
As i input which was SUPPOSING to be my ic number. It was incorrect!
Scared the shit outta me.
Lucky it was due to the fact that i forgot that i haf change the password when i booked the test.
So much just for the password!
Well, did the etrial and i flunked it. LoL =D

After that, we still haf some time left before the actual BTT so hao and me pei yihming to eat in the canteen of cdc and i did some revision.
And we was talking about the difference between gals taking driving lessons to guys cause we saw a gal returning from her driving lesson with her instructor.
Well, so much for driving. Haha =D

Haf our BTT after that and first time i pay so much attention to a test.
Just doesnt want to waste money taking it again. thats all in my mind.
Well, i did passed.
Take the date for FTT and went to haf our dinner.
Received a call straight after the test from mdm cheng, my course organiser.
She was calling regarding the LOA and it turned out that i was right. It didnt get approved. Well, she explained to me and i understand and she asked me to approach the teacher-in-charge as i got a quiz that day.
Also promised me that she will send a email to the teacher-in-charge if needed.
Asked me for my results last sem and told me many stuffs.
Quite friendly i must say.
I wasnt that friendly when it come to teacher and student relationship but she was ok. LoL =D
Yihming went off first and so i went to hao's house to slack again! LoL =D
Was showing him the blog of my friends and telling him stories about them and he did the same too.
That wasnt common for him to do so but he did. LoL =D
Home after that.

Friday 16/11/07
School was as per normal.
Friday which mean infrastructure which mean i will see that particular guy that pissed me off once again.
I wondered will he ever stop?
Anyway after school, went outside school for lunch with bY and el
and was hearing el complaining about our cktcs teacher of a misunderstanding between the teacher him and quek.
Guess no one feel that good when being misunderstood by others.

After eating went to find ling jie and gang.
Ling jie asked me to go shop around CNN.
So i meet them and went to library to sleep for a few hours cause they need to do their project.
After that, CNN day!!
It was hot and stuffy i must say with all those people squeezing around.
Eat lots of junk food and we also won lots of dolls.
LoL =D
like free de.
I got myself a bear and dog (vier got himself the same dog too. Does that symobl our friendship?) LoL =D
Slacked at level 1 as everyone was kinda tired.
Played card games with them for awhile and went home.
Prepared for iguides camp and went bK house to meet him.
After that,
Meet up with bK's friends - weide, andy and chun an.
Actually i know them too, just that wasnt that familiar.
But they actually are very friendly and fun.
We was late and so we missed the first game.
Was eating with those main comms and was boring so we went to jam and hop.
Kao! Security was damn tight that night.
Chun an called tien tien to bring us in but think she couldnt help much too so we give it a miss.
And we went walking around the school looking at others running around. the amazing race. LoL =D

Andy played a song from his phone and the four of them was dancing around with it.
They came up with a dance themselves. Hao li hai.
LoL =D
Was really hilarious when i saw them dancing.
bK taught me the dance too and now i know it. LoL =D
what a fun bunch!
After that was waiting for the rest of the iguides to be back.
We was sitting at the side and out of nowhere, chun an played his songs and all of us
was singing. LoL =D
But as more and more groups returned, we were still singing.
So many was looking at us with their face like "huh, who are them?" hahaha
Didnt feel ps at all lo.
So fun!
Even alan, the president of iguides joked with us.
Say he want our signature and give him a few minutes to get the mic ready and let us perform for everyone.
LoL =D

And so we finally get to know our group.
I was in the same group with bk.
Tarvos A!!
And i saw bengyong. he was in tarvos B but sama sama la.
Also in tarvos ma! =D
Know a few in my group the first night.

That night we also need to think up of what to cook for dinner the following day with just 30 bucks.
I didnt particpate much cause i didnt really know what to suggest sia. LoL =D
So i was back crapping with bK, yongzhi and zhi yan.
LoL =D
Bathing time after that.
Everyone went to the sports complex lo.
Bet they didnt know design school got shower room too but it was small.
So bK and me went that and it was completely quiet.
Not even a single soul could be found and only like the two of us. =D
but the water there was FREEZING COLD!!
I was shouting and complaining to bK even if he did warned me that it was cold water before we went there. LoL =D
After bathing,
Sleeping time.
Omg!
It was at TCC foyer and it sucks to the max man.
Like an oven and full of mosquitos.
Well, but we somehow survive from the constant mosquitos bites and the desert-like heat. =D

Woke up at 6.30 the next morning.
Totally blur. LoL =D
only a few hours of sleep.
Games and breakfast was first to come.
Nevertheless, Cheers!! More and more cheers!! LoL =D
Fun!
Oh plus a really boring talk in the middle of the day.
but there was this designing of pattern for a white t shirt thingy.
And it was quite interesting.
I think our group did a good job.
But i didnt take a pic for it. i should find someone who did later on.
Well, we also looked at other groups design and it was also good.
Mocca ad was also part of it with " The Engine school is over there! "
LoL =D
Lunch after that and some practice of our cheers again!
There was this friendship dance and it was fun. We guys was joking in the toilet that this was the best game as we hold all the gals hand in our group. LoL =D
And we also learn the iguides dance.
I was paired up with a gal named rebecca from the group Demio A. she was quite shy in the first place but after that was better. LoL
After the iguides dance, they also dance the tp mass dance and chicky dance.
LoL. i didnt know that de lo so i just go along with it looking at others and was turning rebecca here and there. LoL
I bet she will turned and run away the next time she saw me in school ba. LoL =D
Was really really tired after that. LoL
Rest? No! More games after that.
Games was fun but some just CMI.
There was this biting apple game. haha
Everyone haf to turn five round on the spot that make u giddy and totally no sense of direction and still haf to bite an apple out of a pail of water without touching the apple. LoL
Before i get my chance. I saw this gal (dunno is a sub comm or main com or just a FA)
she was laughing off when looking at one of grp member trying so hard for the apple and i was saying her. LoL =D
As for me, i was trying my best lo but it was difficult and last resort was to stick my whole head in the water just to get a bite.
Hair was totally drenched but fun. LoL =D
Candy nearly dropped her contact lens in the water lo and the everyone was saying that hendra ate her contact instead of the apple due to he was right after candy.
Lol =D

More games after that but im lazy to type all la.
After that was dinner time.
I was totally worned out.
Didnt help much.
Was talking with zhi yan and sleeping beside.
dinner was Maggi! LoL =D
Nothing to complain much, everyone was somewhat the same.
Shared with yongzhi and i cant say it was nice but thats camp la.
LoL =D
After that more games.
our groups lost one and was punished by them sprashing water on us.
hahaha. Fun getting all soaked.
I was still alright but zhi yan and joey was well, much worse.
LoL =D
Another was a game that we need to get blindfolded and walked over a path with many bottles and chairs as obstacle.
And another group member need to walk from other end of the path blindfolded as well but he/she need to bite a spoon with peanut butter and feed the person walking toward them. LoL =D
Candy feed me and well, lucky for me..she didnt missed too much time. hahaha

The rest of the games didnt haf to be mention much. Haha
After that was some group games and after was a mass debriefing.
Lots of questions was asked and also some of them was complaining and giving feedbacks of all the parts during the camp.
Some was really good feedbacks which i agreed too.
Well, after that wei de and chun an was giving us hand signals from far asking us whether want to go home anot.
haha.
bK and i was so worned out and so we agreed.
I already intend to go home before they asked us. LoL
Yongzhi was there begging me not to go. haha. funny guy.
After the debrief, went up to the class to get our belonging and we got this goodbye song that is sang by the group whenever someone is going off.
So the FA told the group that bK and me was going off.
But instead of the goodbye song, they sang the pai seh song !! haha
as you can guess, they just changed the goodbye part ot pai seh. LoL =D

So went off with wei de, chun an and bK
Was damn lazy to walk and so take the shun feng cab of wei de and save me from walking the pathway down to my house. haha
Not even one minute in the cab lo. LoL
Back home.
Was msg-ing with zhi yan and hao and reading other ppl's blog for awhile and suddenly went off to dreamland. LoL =D
Woke up at 4+
Hao was asking me to go out for tml.
Should i go? lots of quiz.
Lets see ba. Hahaha.

Woah! This few weeks was really busy! LoL =D
Thats it ba.
Will update more if im not that lazy!
=D

看到营里有一对非常要好的朋友
我不知道他们两个是不是一对的
不过看到他们两个就让我想起 year 1的我们
真的好像

这首歌就想是我想对你说的

我还是很想你！

2007-11-09T06:50:00.000+08:00

Wanted to blog de but the time is 6.50 am in the morning leh.
School starting at 8.
Didnt slept a wink last night.

Xin qing bu hao!!
DARN!

Update later ba.
*Sigh =(

2007-11-01T22:53:00.000+08:00

Thursday always a boring day!
A whole day at school with lectures and labs.
Sigh
Lectures was boring enough
but it was fun suan-ing the loner forever gal - Christina!
LoL =D

bY was acting krazi during the advanced electronics lab.
haha =D
he seems like eat wrong medicine or something.
Keep joke around with me. Krazi fellow! =D

Back home!

"You always have a choice, its just a matter of the consequences."
Thats what i say. Don't you agree?

Eunice told me she like it.
=D

I too have a choice but im just not sure whether im able to bear the consequences.

How come you say that?
M i just so weak in your eyes? Or izzit just a joke from you?

应该可以不用再去想你眼里是不是只有他？
我想其实你真的不知道
我被绑在友情和爱情之间真的很难

I don't want to become this way
是什么作祟？为什么会流泪？
原来是心痛不断责备
或许我该懂得体谅和后退
单方面的爱情怎样才对？

2007-10-31T03:04:00.000+08:00

Second week of school

Monday
School as per normal.
Xinyi fall sick!
So after school, bY and me went to a doctor with her
Hope she get well soon if she manage to find a way to take the pills. =D
Have our lunch at pastamania.
straight home after that.

Tuesday
Wasnt feeling too well the moment i woke up
Stomach was feeling weird enough
Skipped my HT lecture.
Thanks bY for the notes.
Nothing much happened.
Just that xinyi didnt told me that she not meeting me and so i wasted my time to look for her at concourse.
Sigh! =D
Networking infrastrucutre lecture was alright.
Quite confident in this one.
Cktcs is the problem.
Lecturer was talking to himself most of the time. =(
But the lecturer, also our tutor
I find the tutorial class better.
At least i was able to understand.
Abit slow but then what for so fast if we cant understand what he talking about.
bY was making me crack in laughter during tutorial class la.
Keep talking about the tutor. LoL =D
Wangjun msg-ed me and bY to lunch together but i doesnt feel like eating due to my stomach feeling kinda weird and bY want to go home.
I give it a miss.
Home early and took a nap.
Recently school is making me tired easily.
Woke up at 9.30pm.
Pizza for dinner. Yum yum =D
Nothing to do and i don't feel like sleeping yet.

Was surfing the net and i came across this.

Identify yourself as right or left brain person:

1.Hold your hands together.
Look at your hands.If you see

Left thumb is below the right thumb = left brain
Right thumb is below the left thumb = right brain

2.Fold your arms infront of you.

Right arm above left arm = left brain
Left arm above right arm = right brain

Below is the interpretation of your personality:

Right-Left
Considerate, traditional, indirect type can instinctively read other's emotion, and respond friendly by natures. Although not very into taking initiatives in moving forward, but this person will always take a step back in supporting others. Stable personality and considerate, give others a being protected feeling. But the weakness is they cannot say no; regardless how unwilling they are, they will take care of others.

Right-Right
Loves challenges type Straightforward. Once they decided on one thing, will take action right away. Very curious, and love challenges. Dare to face dangers without thinking through ( sometimes foolishly). Their weakness is they don't listen to others, will filter in only what they want to hear in a conversation, and very subjective. However, because of their straightforward attitude, they tend to be fairly popular.

Left-Left
Dedicated, cold, perfectionist. Very logical in all aspects. The only way to defeat (or win over) him/her is through reasons. Has alot of prides, and feeling strongly about doing the right thing. If they are your friends, they are very trustworthy. However, if they are your opponents, they will be very tough to deal with. Because they can be very 'anal' as a perfectionist, they usually leave a bad impression of being hard to deal with when first met.

Left-Right
Likes to take care of others, leader type. Has a cool and keen observation ability to see through situations, yet still can be considerate in others needs. Because of their cool and calm nature, and strong sense of responsibility, they tend to become head of a group. Popular among people. However, they may not be able to help themselves in meddling because they want to take care of others too much. Very concerned about how others view them, and always on alert.

I've tried it.
Well, i can say its about 80% accurate!
Mine is Right-Left. hahaha =D

Thats it.

如果这一切只是一场游戏
我们能不能从新再来一次

2007-10-24T18:44:00.000+08:00

Zhi qian de wo dao na li qu le?!

Finally back for some update!
School started, timetable was fine.

Monday 9am - 12pm
Tuesday 9am - 1 pm
Wednesday 10am - 6 pm
Thursday 10am - 6 pm
Friday 8am - 12pm

First day of school was alright.
Familiar faces in class.
Xinyi's class was just next to mine, so qiao.
Accompany her for her lecture after mine and eunice was also there, with those MIE students of course
Xinyi also ke lian la, abandoned into MIE class.
I'll try to accompany as much as i can la hor. =D
Meet vier and guys after that in inter cause zh want to get his bag a cute-looking stuff toy!
My god! =D
Had my lunch at there and went home straight after with veir and zh.

Yesterday.
Meet xinyi in the afternoon to buy book.
Oh,
and billah appeared out from nowhere with faris
Like finally lo. LOL
So long din saw both of them le.
After that went the last lecture. xinyi dunno go where with billah.
Meet wangjun with bY for lunch at design.
Didnt eat.
Saw kt.
Didnt talk much.
He busy talking about work stuffs.

Today.
Xinyi told me today dun have the apel class
but today after orgcom.
Saw eunice outside the class and she told me got.
So have to wait for xinyi to arrived then go with her if not she dunno.

As usual,
Apel lesson always end the moment it start
Went mensar with xinyi,joyjoy and qr for lunch
Didnt eat again.
Im starting to hate food. I dunno why.
MY appetite just get worst.
I can go whole day without food and i dun even feel like eating.
Whats wrong with me?

went to the library with qr and tammy came to meet me.
Nothing to do for the 3 hrs break so ended up watching "casper" in library.
Capser, the friendly ghost!
LoL =D
Vier and cp was there also.
They watched "hei se hui"
At least better then casper la. haha
Went for cds class.
hospitality and tourism!
Ice breaking was funny with jason and me acting like some clowns infront of the whole class. =D
Sandra told us the presentation will be one to one ba if it suit us better.
Of course i want that.
I feel like changing cds but.. something seems to be stopping me.
bY changed cause his class got free rider.
Eunice told me to change to social to pei her.
Maybe heng heng will be in same class.
Suddenly got the strong urge to change

But is that a good thing?
I wondered.
Asked myself. "You sure you can do that?"
No ans!
LoL =D
Lets see ba!

Walked home with jason after that.
Now back home blogging.
Like finally.

Inn's birthday coming soon.
Invited us to her 21st birthday party!
YEAH!!
21st birthday must make big big. Can haf alot of fun.
I want my 21st birthday party to be big big also.
Who want to help me?!! =D

Vier : Heres ur update! Dun say i only ask you update. =D

两个礼拜前，
当你告诉我你和他的故事我完全不知道我该有什么样的感受
是伤心吗？
我有点生气，但也没说什么。
我的心比你离开我的时候还痛苦，
当时好希望有个人能在我身边不过我也知道你心情不好所以想陪在你身边。
我真的不明白你为什么老是让自己处在这种情况
可能我写这些的同时，
你和他的问题应该有比较好吧关系也应该比较密切了吧
或许我也该做我该做的事

我已经照大家想要看到的我再面对大家了
不要再要求我了

为什么每一个人做每一件事都会有一个目的呢
这个目的或许会伤害另一个人不过大家也都当作没事发生
我就不明白难道这就是所谓的现实世界吗

有时候我真的很想找一个人来诉苦
告诉他/她我有多想她
告诉他/她我有多不想再装了
告诉他/她我隐藏在心里所有的话
一字不漏的都告诉他/她
不过到头来这个人又到底会是谁呢

Sometime i tot i know how confused and angry you are when things happened.
I can't say i understand what you are going thru.
I just try to help. I tried.
Can't always ensure a positive outcome for the efforts.
You should know better then anyone else.

Why did you fill my sorrow with the words you borrowed from the only place you'd known.

Leap the faith!
If i don't change my life, will someone do it for me?

I still love you.
Its weird.
So i started to wonder why that was.
And as time went on, it only got worse.
Because im not good at letting go
or maybe im afraid of what'll happen if i fail.
But i know one thing,
i never regret doing so

2007-10-10T00:37:00.000+08:00

Maybe im no longer the me that will be easily satisfy
cause from what you told me, to be like what we are now.
Only in the world of msn?
The things you know, i know?

i just not sure whether is this some sort of agreement toward us.
I know im selfish. Im sorry.

放你走，对你来说是种解脱
不过被困在这的我又怎么办呢？

心又开始痛了
最不像做的事就是把不开心的一面让你在不开心的时候知道
心里是真的不想烦你
不过好像在打自己的嘴巴

即使你对别人动了心
我还是无法也不想说服自己
即使明白你说的都是别人而不是自己
痛归痛也对自己傻笑
心里还是默默的默默的等着你

2007-10-06T10:44:00.000+08:00

I forgot which day it was but i spend one day reading the messages in my inbox.
I haven see them for quite some time
guess what?
i don't dare to.
Trust me, its all for you.
I kept them here. All of them.

Looking back at the pasts, its sweet.
But like i always say,
"Sadness is what you always find behind happiness."
Its true isnt it?
Don't you feel the same?

I knew you'll change from the day i told you my feelings.
I knew it.
But i just didn't care about it.
Well, maybe.
No one will do anything when things beside them is happening the way they want it even if they knew it'll be different sooner of later.
My friends warned me about what the outcome might be.
But what did i do?
Nothing!
I just let it happened.

Guess the only thing u realized is i have changed. A different me.

People say Im crazy and that I am blind
I risk it all i know
How you got me blind is still a mystery to me

You still remember the first day of school when we got into a different class?
The stupid little confusion after school?
Those weird things i did?
At least you managed to sensed something is wrong with me back then.
When you told me you don't want all that too, that i just stood up and wanted to leave.
When you feel very weird too and you think this kind of joke really not funny.

Back then, when i know that was how you feel.
I find it rather sweet and i felt happy for a little moment.
Know why?
Cause i felt that you don't want to lose me, as a friend or whatever i could think of.

Right now
will you wonder or even care about what happen to me?
With the friends you have now, all the answers in my head is not what i want.

Do you know that it still lead me back to..
to Everywhere when i think of you.

On friday sep 28,
the things you told me.
Maybe i think too much but thats how i tot it was.
Turned out its not the same for you.
What i think it was, you don't think so.

I realized that it was all nothing afterall.

I went to see your friendster, your friendster comments. Found one feb 2 de comment.
I still don't know how to use those words.
To me,
You'r still the best. Till now.

Maybe you're right,
maybe im just trying my luck
maybe all these that been killing me is just some sort of silly jokes.

I think thats what keeping the worlds apart.
People passed by you and they leave too,
all these just at a split second.

The same happened in everyone's life, in my life.
You, the girl that i love
came in my life and walked straight out of it.
Just like that.

I still miss you, like i always do.
but i know this can't go on.
No more of this.
How long it been? Months...
Everything you have said and done feels like its deep within me.
Doesnt really matter if you're on the run.
Ive tried to hide it so that no one knows
But I guess it shows

Well, what does it matter?
You used to tell me i changed and i think you changed after i don't know when.

I changed. You changed.
To HELL everyone is changing!
Afterall thats how things is right now.
Correct me if im wrong but thats what you told me remembered?

I prefer to be the old me. The one that keep everything inside him.
Don't say a thing and no one will know.
At least thats how i was when we first knew each other.
Right from the very beginning.

You don't have to report to me.
You don't tell me so i asked.
Its doesnt really matter about my supp right?
Let me tell you,
Everything about you matter to me and thats why i asked.
Why can't you just understand that!

Everytime our conversation end up like this.
Its not like that de.
Doesnt used to be like that.
Frustrated! Damn frustrated.
I doesnt want it to be like this de.

Nothing in my life seems real.
All so fake.
Believe me. Its not about you, not about anyone else.
Just me myself alone.
I think i can't control things.
Everything i tot im in control of went out of control.

Having to go thru this is so much like my destiny.

"
All these precious moments
With you by my side
Must be a gift from heaven
That's holding me all night
I don't know how I found you
I'm thankful that I have
Now that I have a love so true
To hold,
to keep,
to share.
In my heart,
I can no longer hold inside
All of the love I used to hide
I'll always be
with you untill the very end
In this world,
there is no place I'd rather be
You are my life,
my soul,
my girl
And through it all
I know
that you've come to see
that You're the one
till the end

All my friend around me
Say you'd be gone too soon
Baby,
I'm gonna make them see
We've found our way
back home
In my heart,
I can no longer
hold inside
All of the love
I used to hide
I'll always be
with you untill the very end
In this world,
there is no place
I'd rather be
You are my life,
my soul,
my girl
And through
it all
I know that
you've come to see that
You're the one
till the end
We'll always be
till the end
"

This song really calm me down whenever im frustrated or whenever i think of you.

Well,
i guess this is the last one for you.

2007-09-28T04:16:00.001+08:00

You say she don't know anything about you.

Then what about me?
Do i know anything about you?
Tell me

I want to know
The wencong right now, izzit just a hi-bye friend to you?

2007-09-28T03:48:00.000+08:00

Being Positive?
Since the day you first know me, when did i ever not being positive?
That one year of time,
my life is only happiness and joy
well maybe Anger. if you could still remember.
but there are no sadness or negative side of me.

So when did all theses stuffs got onto me?
The day i gave my heart to you?
No!
Cause that two weeks of time, i was really happy
really happy
The day you asked me to leave everything behind and move on?
Well, i guess so.

You
The one and only person that could take the positive side of me away is asking me not to be so negative
For god sake, can everything in me just back to normal?

Being happy with the life you having now,
you could simply tell me that thats how everything is now.
so funny

Don't you feel anything by telling me that?
Should i really doubt that you got no feelings.

How i wish i could be just like him.
Giving up the gal that i cant get and go on with the next one.
Living his life happily like fark!

Why not be like him right?
But im just not him!! God damit.
Just cant do that.

这是我第一次有这种感觉
现在头好痛好累好累
逼自己拖着疲累的身躯和你说话已经到极限了
累到连当我在写这些时，
想流下的眼泪都流不出来了。

2007-09-28T03:30:00.000+08:00

Reached the state of
you don't want to comment
and
i cant even comment.

So what now.
Im still the one standing there listening to what you gonna say.

The amount of friends you got now, you could say something like that
seriously did pissed me off.
So what if its pissed me off, so what if i m angry?

You don't give a god damn care anymore!
With me, you don't want to comment ma
Right?
NO COMMENTS!

HEADACHE!!

2007-09-28T02:51:00.000+08:00

2 more hours and i will be awake for 24 hours.

With the headaches crashing upon me,
don't think i could hold on much longer.

Well, just cant get myself to tell you i cant talk to you much longer.
I don't know when is the next time.
Don't know if you even know the feelings.

Still don't understand why did you asked me that izzit i purposely dun want talk to you?
Never mind that.

"I sacrifice my sleeping time?!"
Well, im just lazy to explain at that time.
Are you really that silly?
Are you really that dumbo ? (using your word)

Something make me happy for a moment.
knowing you talk to me even when shar is online.

At least i got to throw the thinking away that " you talked to me because you'r bored and no one was around."

Cant take it much longer.

2007-09-28T02:13:00.000+08:00

You don't sound like you understand the words from me.
but what can i do?
I explained more, i just get back a "whatever" from you.
So you really think that im alright even if you talk to me no more.
You really think so eh?!!!

I just don't know what to reply when in my heart i know you'r finding someone else.
You don't understand don't you.
What differences does it make? That person won't be me anyway.

"Should happen, could happen, don't matter. You got plenty of time to think about all that later"

I got these words in my mind always.

But still, my head hurts.

I don't even realized since when the pain i got in my heart been transfered to my head.

Having frequency headaches recently
since the supp paper.

Slept at 12 last night and i woke up at 5 this morning.
It was like "what? I woke up at 5 ?!"
Been having headaches since then.
And my house went blackout at 8.30 cause of some repair works is going on somewhere in my block.
What am i supposed to do with no electricity?
Anyway power was back at 4+ and finally something for me to do.

"u purposely dun wan tok to me derhs izzit"
What i got from you.

Do you know my head is gonna blow when you talk to me.
You don't know eh. Not unless i tell you right.
No longer the sensitive gal u used to be.
No use telling you that anyway.
Got to spend my time explaining things to you
Don't you see,
till this very moment,
I m still trying to act like nothing really happened infront of you.
Trying my very best.

I always got so many to blog about whenever we talked.
Afterall, you mean alot to me but its just one sided.

Will someone have fever if stayed in an air-conditioned room all day long?

I thought the temperature will dropped.

2007-09-22T02:22:00.000+08:00

走在你我熟系的街头
你不再牵著我的手
小心翼翼的将回忆拿出来
泪也小心翼翼的流

有些事情你在瞒著我

知不知道
淡淡一句 "还是朋友"
撕裂的心犹如刀割

知道离开后你不难过你比从前快乐
祝福的话你叫我如何能够说的出口
过往的温柔是否已不在
想问你怎么舍得

还是想在你耳边再说我会想你

If you think everything i wrote is "shit"
just take it as a form of entertainment ba.

Maybe im thinking too much and seeing things too complicated
but arent you trying to tell me more about him

后来的我渐渐发现
想让自己"真正"的开心起来
要好多好多自己熟系的人和身旁发生的事才行

不过一当回到家
开开心心的希望能和你说话
却发现好奇怪有种说不出来的不同
发现你不知是不是故意提到他的

是有意的吗？
是无心的吗？
这些问题一直在身边围绕着
明明很累
但自己也很清楚今晚是不可能睡的了了

说一切都是你的错吗？
你应该会很生气的想 "关我什么事"
其实自己也明白
明白应该给别人一个机会
明白一切为什么这样的结束
当初快乐的时候
为什么会一直逼你
就是因为感到没有安全感
总觉得一切就会像现在这样
暗然的结束

事情果然发生了
故作坚强的告诉自己 "不是早就想到会发生的吗？"
心里真不舒服
感觉自己在骂自己

或许没想到事情会发生的这么快和突然吧
你的心和你所做的一切说变就变
我的心就像被你折了翅旁的小鸟一样
就算你不是故意的
我也就呆在这里
看着你的背影渐渐离去
而我呢想飞也飞不掉了

在电脑桌前面对电脑的我
只能默默的把心里所有的感受写出来
可能电脑是唯一的一个会听我心情的人吧
至少它能或有可能让你了解到我的心情
或你根本没兴趣吧

而你却在别的地方
一个离我很远很远的地方
慢慢的静静的等候"他"回来
当我看到你问我 "他为什么还没回来呢"
其实心里已经完全明白
不过还是把自己当做白痴一样傻傻的装做若无其事的样子问你是什么一回事
真像个白痴
像个大白痴！！！！

可躲在电脑后的我你根本不可能知道
根本不可能知道

我去看了你朋友的blog
读着读着
老是觉得她的blog怎么读也读不完
后来才发现原来是我的心越来越沉重了

你的名字一直出现着
这一点也不稀奇
不过你的名字背后对我来说都是一条又一条的伤痕

继续往下读
发现你曾经msg她说你感到非常难受

我根本不管那件事是什么时候写的
心里想的都是 "你怎么了?" "发生什么事吗?" "想告诉我吗?"
这些所有的答案我已经都不知道该跟谁得到了
问了你你会说吗？
完全不知道
又再次发现其实我根本不了解你
还说什么爱你
或许我的问题应该是
我该问吗？

就算我不想承认
不过你的世界好像跟我的越来越不同了
你好象已不再是我认识的那个吴素慧了
那个天真可爱什么都傻傻的吴素慧了
那个无论我说什么都笑的好开心好开心的吴素慧了
说到这里泪水又再次忍不住了
很努力很努力的想把泪水往眼里流
但所写的事好像能触碰到自己的心一样
就好像所有的字都把我的心紧紧的包住一点呼吸的空间都没有
眼一闭心一松就好像什么都不管了
眼泪一滴一滴的留下来根本没停过
一个人在安安静静的房间里
房间里满满的都是有你的回忆

没用的感觉又来了
不知道为什么又回来了
我应该有告诉过你吧
之前的我自以为在别人面前故作坚强就是表现自己没事的方法
不过我又能怎样呢
我难过我很难过我非常难过！！
但也总不能永远表现出来给别人看吧
宁原自己在夜深人静的时候想起你吧

在心里想了很久
其实我根本配不起你嘛
一向就对自己没什么信心的我
在你离开之后变得连一点点的自信心都没有了
这是真的
我最近发现无论我在做什么总觉得都是我不可能办到的
再说我已经离你的世界越来越远了
我真的不知道也不敢去猜
哪一天你会开始瞧不起我?

2007-09-19T11:08:00.000+08:00

Went to school yesterday for Icapp's remedial.
Was alone. Didnt expect xinyi never attend.
But saw weixiang and christina.
Didnt talk much then, must pay attention ma.
After the remedial, accompany chris to go photocopy some stuffs then i realized i need to photocopy the maths remedial stuffs too cause i never attend.
But chris's notes is way too luan liao so in the end never photocopy.
I'm so stressed for my maths.
The maths supp is coming real soon and i don't even know anything.
STRESS!!

Walked weixiang and chris to the bus stop.
Then on my way home, felt abit lonely. Wondering is there a need for my existence?
Well, maybe im abit too exaggerating.
Just a depression feeling out of nowhere.
Wasnt in a very good mood.

Don't feel like going home too.
Home is making me more and more frustrating nowadays.
Rather spend my time outside then home even if i got nowhere to go.
So i pass by my house, wondering where to go.
Decided to go tm so walked there.
I seem to like walking alot recently. =D
haha

Reached the place.
Walked around with no destination.
Had my lunch at yoshinoya.
Then i realized the date is 18th.
18th of sep.
Time really flies eh.
Make my way to NTUC after lunch.
Thinking of how you intro me the type of mushroom soup you like that time,
i got myself a can of mushroom soup. haha =D
I didnt know why i brought it too.
Say im silly? I guess so too.

Everything is so similar, just like that day.
Not knowing where to go anymore.
Went home.
Straight to bed when i reached home.
Rather spend my time in dreams then having to face someone.

以下是我想对你说的话：

你说我装犹豫像傻瓜吗？
好怀念你那时的样子真可爱
只希望现在你也能对我说，那么我也会好开心

我什么都不怕只要有你在
即使你不在我身边

好希望
快乐的时候能和你闹闹
难过的时候能和你抱抱

认真的时候你千万不要来吵哦！
哈哈哈
*写这些时，总觉得都是些幻想而已
不过我也只是想让你知道而已

要我答应你的那条件吗？
要我放弃对你的一切希望是吧
傻瓜
我知道你只想让我开心一点
老实说刚开始看到时并不是那么开心哦
不过我知道你的用心就好啦呵呵呵

即使从前不管你要我答应你什么
我都会因为怕你这位大小姐生气而答应
说到这里反正从前无论什么事我都一定输你嘛
因为你知道我的弱点哈哈哈哈 =D
不过！！
这次我真的不能答应你哦

我知道如果我继续像之前一样这样对你
我们的关系一定不能像从前一样
我已经尽量的压抑自己只希望让我们的关系变回从前一样
并不要求什么只希望你能感受到

那时和你聊天时
有一刻有一种像以前我们说话的感觉
好久没有这种感觉
真的好开心
我就说嘛只有你才能让我好开心
er.. 这样说会不会有一点恶心呀？
哎呀不管了呵呵呵呵

不过还真的满高兴的
当你说知道我对你很好
不管你说的是不是真的
我就是好骗嘛有什么办法呢
不过应该是真的吧哈哈哈

只想让你知道我最疼的还是你
不要连让我疼你的机会都没有哦

说真的现在的一切都还不是我想要的
有时候一个人的我想到你还是会难过
不过一步一步慢慢来吧
我还是会很想你的哦

等等
我说了这么多

"你"到底知不知道我在说谁啊
"你"应该知道吧
别吓我哦 =D

2007-09-18T08:34:00.000+08:00

I'll be going school later.
Its early in the morning right now and hell CRAP is happening too.
When i mention crap, i mean CRAP!

He think he can let it out on me just because he wasnt in a good mood.
FARK OFF!!
I wasnt in my good mood everyday too. Does that mean i can let it out on him.
I already knew he wasnt feeling too good few days ago.
But i don't really care. To be honest,
I DON'T GIVE A GOD DAMN SHIT ABOUT HIM OR HIS PROBLEMS!
Did he care about our problems too?
No, he don't and seriously i don't even want him to be poking around with my business.
Nothing in his mind is important except ****
and why should i care.

God damit!

2007-09-14T07:05:00.000+08:00

Its 7am right now.
Just reach home an hour ago.
Seldom spend the night outside.

Lazy to talk about yesterday.
=D

I started wondering
how come nobody tag me de?
So sad t_t

To vier :
Nah, this part for you de.
Happy anot? Be honoured ok.
Also don't know want to write what for you
hahahaha =D
Oh, don't miss me too much la.
hehehe

2007-09-13T00:25:00.001+08:00

Looking at your msn's personal message,
my head start thinking "you ever wonder how many scars and scratches i got on my heart?" =D

When i saw the way you so happy that im going to blog cause you got new things to read.
I cant stop myself but to think
Well, maybe vic was right afterall.

"你只需要放开你的心，别一直往后走。是你的，就是你的，不是你的，怎么样逼都不会幸福的。开心点，我依然是你的朋友，不开心时，我还是会借你我的耳朵。放手吧！这样你就会得到幸福的。"

对不起！我还是哭了。

Im glad you never fail any subjects.
Gpa dropped alittle but never mind de la.
Can get back de ok.

You offered to help me for my supp.
I appreciated that,
but i don't think "he" will be that willing.
Maybe im thinking selfishly.
Well, i just don't wish to bother them.
You told me you will be there.

If its in the past,
i could be really happy that my darling will be so nice.
Remember that time when u guys came down to school to help with my maths supp?
Even though you guys didnt help much and we still went for movie after that, but i still very happy. Real happy.
But now, please tell me that i will be able to study with you infront of me.
With you surely playing around with them infront of me.
I don't dare to think about that.
I don't dare.

I realized till now, till this moment.
I still cant let you be pissed at me.
I still have to give in to you.
Maybe after all these, I really haven changed a bit.

I know you want to help me,
but you only making me feel more weak infront of you.
You should know this more clearly then anyone else,
i told you before.

Friends? Yes, we are friends.
Not that close only ma.
I haven even really say much, you asked me to change topic.
What are you so afraid of? haha.

You still remember about our ice skating outing ar?
Hahaha
You know i feel like i could fly up to the sky at that moment,
you r always so stick to me at that time.
You used to be so innocent, not to say you r complicated now.
but i really miss those days.
Maybe i took you for granted last time, thats why i miss those days now.
Those days that you always find me, we are always together
Those Days.

When you mention malaysia,
you know what i think of.
I cant help it, its way too sweet.
I need not say more,
those msgs, its still with me.
Always with me.

你说的每一句话我都有认真在听
储存在我的心上怎么可能把它遗忘
后来故事变得怎样我希望我们的手依然不放
我所有的悲伤习惯有你陪伴
怎舍得再重返孤单

答应你我不会离去
我们只是短暂的分离
我会在附近紧握着回忆
陪着你前进

因为我相信只要我相信
就会有奇迹

你说的我都体谅
我的秘密锁在你眼眶

过去一个人偶尔叹息
也曾想过要放弃
如今不为自己也要为了你笑着让梦延续

2007-09-10T00:57:00.000+08:00

After being missing for ten days or so,
finally back blogging!
Oh come on
im not like those people that blogged nearly everyday.
Whatever!

Its not like im lazy to blog. Just that whenever i wanted to do so, you came to my mind and i don't even know what to write anymore.

Lets see.
Exams over! Holidays started!
The end!
=D

310807 Fri
Went over to yd's hse to kill some time since no one ask me to go anywhere right after the last paper which was like the first time.
Its not like someone will give me a call, asking me out.
Stayed there for a few hours and took a nap too. =D
Woke up and its like evening time already
Headed to Tm for dinner and
ARCADE after that!!
They wanted to enjoy themselves after exams and i didnt expect that enjoyment to be arcade.
So played for a few hours there.
Omg, i actually can stay in arcade for so long.
Went home straight after that.

"While i was writing this, you came back. We talked, i try my best to show you what you teaches me.
I don't understand why you have to mention him.
Say you went to bed but i don't think so. What i guessed make me went crazy again.
Maybe you just don't want to talk to me. Maybe someone of more importance call you.
I cried again right when you say "bye" to me. I never expected the feelings still so strong, felt weak. There are times when i even wondered, Im just too weak. Maybe you're stronger then me.

You asked me about whether i did apply for the sms service,
i don't know why but i still feel that you still care about me?
Maybe as a friend or just nothing much
But still i feel a tiny little bit of happiness from that."

010907 Sat
Another sleepless night.
Lance called me for pool and i went meet him
had a few games with them.
Remember i used to teach you the game? You don't remember le, don't you
Lance came over my house after that,
took a nap as i was way too tired while he was enjoying my ps2.
Nothing much after that.

020907 Sun
Cant sleep again.
9pm,
Cabbed over to xu's house to meet her and her landlord was kind enough to send us to the airport.
Xu is going home.
She's been looking forward to this day. Happy for her too.
Her flight wasnt that early so we slacked around and everyone arrived soon after.
Chatted for some time but actually i wasnt talking much.
What can i say there?

"So i started thinking about you, about that Malaysia trip you went.
do you know how she bu de i was that time? and those messages you send me.
Those things you told me.
You thrown them all away didnt you?"

xu asked me to miss her when she was away, hahaha =D
but she added something before she end that sentence.
I smiled. but i was kinda shocked that she say that.
Im sorry.

Off she went.
Waving goodbyes, slowly out of my sight.
I hate to compare, nobody like it.
but feelings just wasnt right. Didnt say anything. Just want to stay quiet.
You know my point don't you.
You know what im trying to tell you right?

Bus-ed home with xufan, jiaojing and a few others.
didnt know their names.
Send xufan home and we talked
Think she was pretty cool.
A gal who isnt that strong but know how to protect herself.
Gonna learn from her. A very good example.
Home after that.

030907 Mon
Dont even got the time to sleep as i reached home quite late.
Rested for a while and hao called me to go take BTT test date.
So prepared and went to meet him.
Meet up with two of his friends at eunos then go apply for the test and took our test date.
Headed to suntec after meeting adrian.
Walked around and next stop dhoby ghaut
Pool again!
seriously speaking, i don't really got much interest in pool anymore.
i got no idea why too.

basically everything in my life doesnt matter much anymore.
WHAT THE HELL M I TALKING? hai..

"吴素慧你到底知不知道我有多想你啊？！
你到底知不知道没有了你，我的生活是怎么样的？"

050907 Wed
Cant sleep again.
So went out alone for breakfast,
first time im having breakfast alone. =D
Went back home for a nap.
Went to meet vier at eunos area, waited for him for 45 mins
cause he having some problems with his driving lesson time.
Its alright la since im free anyway.
Was waiting for him and you came to my mind, its like repeating and repeating the same old thing. I don't know whether you will read this.
But its true.
Every moment i spend with myself,
you came to my mind.
I know you won't care cause to you,
the only thing that matter to you is to follow your heart.
I did too, follow my heart without thinking of the consequences.
And all i got is heartache. I don't blame anyone. Really.

Vier came at 12.45pm. Waited for the bus zh and ailing was on and moved on to the tpy.
Cp was there already and left only the late queen, joyjoy.
This blur gal hor, left her phone at home and still went back take
no wonder called her so many times, no ans.
So we went for lunch first and she finally arrived.
Oh,and we saw qr, she was with her friends
didnt talk to her cause i was too far away. Anyway,
Went to k box!! Woooo..
So long never go le..
It was fun! But the songs are .. well
All are great singers!! Including me of course =D
Anyway after the k singing session,
went mos burger for dinner. vier went off first to meet his friends.
We had our dinner and talking session.
hahahaha =D fun fun
After that, everyone tired le..
Feelings start to take over me again.
Im sorry that i show you guys abit of unhappiness.
And i not unwilling send you home la, tan kahying. =D
quite late liao so all of us decided to send joyjoy home first and the rest of us cabbed home.
Home!
I was tired, i miss you. I went to your blog.
I realized that you went to the airport too,
looking at the pics you posted.
I look at your face, the emotion came rushing into me.
我才知道自己有多爱你

You went to sing too.
The day before, with the 3 guys.
Forgive me
but i don't feel real good.
I wondered if i was there too on the same date.
If i see you, what'll happened?
我就被缠在这一些傻问题

At that moment,
i was really tired.
Mentally and physically
Lying on the bed, i couldnt fall asleep.
I want to find someone, not knowing who to find.
I messaged you.
But what can i say? Im so dejected now but you doesnt seems to care.
I cant say that.
Someone told me that i cant cause if i do that, you'll dislike me more.
I don't dare to take the risk.
Knowing you are in camp enjoying urself, i don't wish to disturb you + you didnt reply me in the end.
Ky told me cause i wanna lock myself in all those useless memories, she told me memories are meant to be sweet but instead its like making me sad.
My memories with you are sweet! Real sweet. But after the sweetness, im sad cause its no longer there.
I don't want that. I DON'T
不可能跟可能我已经不清楚了

070907 Fri
I didnt went out today.
Whole day im at home.
Its the third month since that day,
do you remember?

I do. Always do.
I was really happy on that day.
Time passed so fast. i didnt expect three months passed so fast.
Just like that.
I didnt know i wasnt really smiling from my heart for three whole months.
Do you noticed?
I hope you do.
I really do.

080907 Sat
Grandma's birthday
Went to aunt's house during evening time for bbq.
And aunt's house there got a club house got something, quite fun ba.
but like abit boring there =D
Well,
long time didnt see my little cousins le
My ah ger sec 2 liao, like so fast lo.
Still as cute as ever.
And jianyong still as naughty as ever. Bad temper also =D

Anyway some thing happened there,
maybe i shldnt blow my temper.
But this particular retard just simply pissed me off.
So too bad
I don't care
And this retard tot everyone can stand his stupid jokes.
Making fun of other people's weakness and think he's the best.
Too full of himself.
Just simply a retard.

When i was so pissed off at that moment,
i think of you, its so strange.
I think of you even when im so angry.
I just tot last time i can even find you to talk even when im angry.
But now not anymore.
Anyway i stay at my aunt's house till midnight before i finally came back home.
Was so tired but still cant get to sleep so talked to joyjoy.
She was online at a stupid time just to upload some photos.
and she wasnt feeling too good. Having gastric pain.
Guess she have been enjoying too much good food, thats why.

Talked to her for awhile,
and ask her to go sleep as she wasnt feeling well + it was really late le.
But she come out with something like scolding me will make her feel better.
Bla Bla Bla. Actually i don't mind de
if scolding me will help her feel better.

Stayed up the night again.

090907 Sun
Rested for awhile and hao call me out for pool again with the guys.
Agreed and went over to bk's house to meet them and cabbed down to katong to meet bao.
In the end, no pool but instead Lan,
actually i don't want to play de cause it doesnt interest me much more then pool.
But just accompany them lo since bao is going army next week.
Hahahaha =D good luck pal.

After dinner, bao's brother came down to katong to drive us back home.
Thanks alot too. =D
Back home, another sleepless night.
In the morning, vic talked to me on msn.
So surprised! So long never see him le, its was like two years or so le ba.
He told me about a story that happened to his friend, i shouldnt say it here due to some reasons but vic, i wouldnt do that.
He say he came to talk to me cause he wants to slap me from reality.

He told me "Even if the gal do notice, she won't do anything, just smiling to herself how someone can be so miserable for her."
I wondered "Will you?"

Its the lingering pain that hurts the most.

100907 Mon
HAPPY BIRTHDAY WEIHAO

Never went out.
Home all day.
Talked to vier and zh on msn at night.
Seems like vier have decide to let go but we don't really know can he do that.
Seriously i don't really know what more can i tell him.
Looking at how he was going, i really cant be like him and tell them things about me.
I gonna be stronger then him and make him let it go.

After vier leave the conversation, only left me and zh.
We chatted thru the night, till 6 in the morning.
It was like the first time we talked for so long.
Chatted about alot of things.

110907 Tues
After the conversation,
i went to bed.
Lying on the bed, i think of you again
Zh told me "With car and money, gal will come."
I don't agreed. Just like the way i don't agreed with the theory you used to have.
I don't think it apply to you.
I'll never apply something like that on you.
Fall asleep. Woke up at 5.
Went out for dinner. Wasnt feeling well.
Due to the many sleepless nights, im having alot of troubles differiating day time and night time.
Head was spinning.
After dinner, took some medicine and went to bed.

120907 Wed
Just woke up at 5.
Continue on this post.
I been writing this post for like a few days already.
Just couldnt finish as it was difficult trying to type and think of you at the same time.

拼命想挽回的从前
在我脸上依旧清晰可见

Life is still going on like usual for me but life without you,
i really arent that happy.
I could laugh, i could cry but without you in my life,
Nothing seems to matter anymore.

I never talked about it
I don't want to share my memories, memories with you in it.
I want to keep that feeling.

Until you'r back,
things are not going to be the same for me.

I didnt know why this happened.
Everywhere i looked, i found only questions.
Anyone can give me the answers im seeking?
Everyone think that the answers they gave me is the one to my questions.
Even if there is someone that could,
I want that someone to be You.

I love you.
And you'll always live in my heart.

2007-08-31T05:26:00.000+08:00

Ok.
Right now, im mugging for my last paper, ICAPP.
Stupid icapp, i used to feel confident for icapp
but since things happened, i dun even feel like studying.
I feel like im an asshole cause im always pushing the blame to other things and someone else instead of myself.
Blaming how come things changed to how it was now?
Pushing the blame to others, always think that it was other people's fault.
Im sucha bastard!

Minutes ago,
i was just flipping over my book and tutorial questions.
To my surprise,
i saw those scribbling you drawn on my book.
I guess i really haven been studying cause im really surprised to see that.
Those scribbling, they used to mean nothing to me.
But its a different case now.
Afterall, ......

I don't deny that those scribbling make me miss you,
miss you more and more.
Come to think of it, one more week and its gonna be the third month.
Three months passed since that day.
Just cant forget it. 那些片段.

Read your blog as usual,
always waiting for you to blog something about your life, i just want to know.
I no longer know whether you are really happy about your life anot anymore,
I no longer know.

Oh
few more hours before im freed from stupid examination.
but icapp still here. = (

One more thing,
I addressed Tan kahying as ying jie jie in my previous post was mainly because she called me cong didi first.
Im only younger then you one month plus OK? =D

When are you coming back to me? When?

2007-08-25T23:43:00.000+08:00

Finally first paper is over!
But more is coming.
Hai, i hate exams!

Friday 24/8
Woke up early in the morning for my Mct paper.
Paper was ok.
Still can manage i think.

After the exam, went to block 10 to meet xinyi.
yesterday suddenly gave me a call and want to meet me to study.
First time leh. =D
So i met her and we went for lunch at business (again i was forced to eat 素)
LoL =D
Then went back engine to study netfund.
Actually we didnt study much,
most of the time,
she was copying my tutorial, chatting and we were singing IN THE MIDDLE OF CONCOURSE!
hahaha.

After awhile more,
decided to go shortcircuit for more FOOD.
I think both of us can really eat lo
So more chatting while eating,
long time didnt see this gal, she can be really funny lo.
Can suddenly pop out the dumbest question of this world to you and you don't even know how to react. =D
Talking session for a few hours.
So fun lo, can make me burst out laughing for so many times.
Especially the topic on president, ministers and alot more.
Hahaha. Xinyi, you know what i talking about if you happen to see this.
LoL

After that went to library as she didnt want to go home yet.
Think she want to borrow some books to occupy her free time.
Walked around to take a look at some storybooks, they seems so unfamiliar to me.
LoL
Xinyi recommended me some lame books too,
Diao. But i found some really interesting books too.
I think i will go get them after exam, read some books seems not too bad.
I need to change my image. Hehehe

After that, was already so night le.
So she went to borrow her book!
And im sure xinyi don't know the difference between "minimum" and "maximum"
hahahahaha =D
That was the joke of the day lo!
She really can be so blur sometime leh..blur till so cute. LoL

Oh ya
I want to announced that i don't like to be in our school library!!
Stupid library!
Never failed to make me sick everytime im there.

Oh, i want to intro to every reader of my blog a new friend of mine.

* This is my new friend - ELO
Chinese name - 一楼

*ELO & pig-elephant

At night,
Ying jiejie talked to me.
We talked about some stuffs.

She very bad de la, i so ke lian.

I was threatened by a triad to say that yuki was ugly and not cute.
If not i will be blocked and deleted from someone msn.
Im so sorry! Yuki
I was forced. Forgive me!
Hahahaha =D
Oh ya, the triad leader was Tan kahying aka ying jiejie
LoL

2007-08-12T12:41:00.000+08:00

*I wrote this post long ago and i just update it day after day but i just saved it as draft. I published it now just to let you know how i feel recently.

Sunday 12/8
Early in the morning,went out for breakfast with mum.
Wasnt in a very good mood.
Mum wanted to go to the market for breakfast so i just compromise.
On the way there,

Remember this pathway?
How fun it was when we always play around when i send you to the bus stop.
Now i just walk this pathway alone.

After breakfast,went home to continue doing something i haven complete
Evening time,
Went out with xu to catch "secret"
Nearly forgot about it that i promise her to catch it with her.
Thought it was supposed to be just a normal romantic love story, but turns out that it was quite different from what i think.
The twist of the movie was quite surprising. Overall quite a nice show and the piano was nice.
不管我们还会不会再见面
不管你会不会忘了我
我只想告诉你一个秘密
我爱你！

When i saw the part that 晴依 kissed jay,
i started to think of you.
It may seem that the "kiss" mean nothing to jay but it was everything to 晴依.
I just feel that way.
Then was this part that 小雨 was crying and she ran over to jay and hugged him so tightly.
I just can't stop thinking about how you hugged me so tightly when you don't want to let me see you cry on that day. 18/6/07

*Another edited version

我忍住的情绪真的一辈子都不能说吗？

拼命想挽回的从前
在我脸上依旧清晰可见

最美的不是那些甜蜜的回忆
是在那些回忆里的你

回忆的画面梦开始不甜

你说把爱渐渐放下会走更远
又何必去改变你走过的世界

你用你的方式
阻止我再见你

想象你在身边
在完全失去之前

你说要我把爱渐渐放下会走更远
或许命运的签只让我拥有那些回忆而已

只让我们相恋
在那一个月

结束后才发现
这幸福的碎片
要我怎么捡

Monday 13/8
School as per normal,
Time to hand in our MCT project.
Overall was alright, only thing special is that i screwed up my interview.
Such a simple question but i cant answer it.
Anyway for our MCT project,
Special thanks to xu.
I wasnt helping much for the project. So sorry.
But hope you understand that i not don't want help but i seriously don't know anything about the codes.
hehehe =D

After last lesson of MCT, marks the end of the day.
Accompany xu to go for the zhang dongliang's concert or something de.
I didnt have the ticket so i just go there take a look.
But yuehan was kind enough to go approach whoever to get a ticket for me as she know i don't have. LoL
And so i ended up with ticket, just like that. Hahaha
So i went for the concert too.
First time see this zhang dongliang,
Quite handsome i must say and he was kinda of humorous.
Not to mention that his songs was really nice.

The last song he sang was 错了再错
I find it quite touching,
you came to my mind again.
I changed his lyrics.

我的心破碎到不能破碎
能挽回什么你就不肯说
我只能猜但全都错
泪水代表伤悲伤痛是你赐给我的安慰
你赐给我的安慰
你不如就用刀刺下

我可以痛了再痛也可以错了再错
不甘心不闪躲只为了让你不离开我
为什么连一点点安慰也不给我

爱和痛彼此纠结悲和我无法分解
疲累的心成了一片黑
伤痛都已无法消灭

完美的借口让我的泪无辜留下
你倒不如用乱箭射吧

即使我头也不回这悲剧猛向我追
你给我的爱像一根绳索
你放了手但却捆住了我
为什么连谎言你也不说

After the concert, it was already dark outside.
I seldom stay in school till so late, only when i was with "you"

偶而会有人喜欢我
但并不代表什么

现在的我不缺什么
只是缺了你在我身边
现在的生活偶而会难过

新朋友很多他们不够了解我
新朋友很多他们都不了解我
问了很多我只是微笑的带过
如果没有你未来的我没有如果
从来不相信星座能预告什么
假设那么多过去能不能从来过

不瞒你说经过了这么多
你不能再从我脸上读出些什么

Tuesday 14/8
School start late afternoon so i didnt need to go school that early,
but i still went early to meet kahying.
Oh ya,she was crying when she called me to tell me where she was.
Shocked me leh. I thought what happened.
So i immediately rushed to school and on the way there
Saw xinyi and she was at my house downstair playing her electronic chicken so i pulled her to school also as she was being naughty for quite a long time le.
Been hearing things about her. Say her abit and ask her what happened to her recently.
Reached school and meet kahying, zh was there too.
Then know why ky was crying just now.
Wasnt that serious matter but can understand why she cry la.
But i thought normally she will be scolding and crusing instead of crying?
Hahaha =D

Chatted for awhile and went for lunch.
After that went to free access lab, both of them want to do their comprog project so i accompany them. Study for my netfund quiz too.
3pm..
They went for their comprog and i went for my netfund quiz.
Quiz was ok but i got careless mistakes.
Damn unhappy. It shouldnt be that way.
But also bo bian.
After that went to MCT free access lab for a while and i saw bY and el there.
Didnt talk much, what can i say?

Didnt feel like going home yet so msg ky and she ask me to accompany her to parkway to get something.
So went over to her class to find her.
She and xinyi both presenting their project to the teacher. Hahaha
How nostalgic. Thinking back of the past. Including you of course.

After a while, that scb finally ready to go.
So we went over to parkway,
on the way there, chatted alot.
Everything and everyone. I still think the one that understand me will be people from T23. I don't know why i feel that way but its just my feeling.

And to kahying,
I only got two words for you.
"Sorry" and "Thanks"
You know why these two words are for you so i don't need say more.

Actually i got alot of ppl to thanks,
you know who you are.
Thanks.
I appreciate everything you guys done for me.

Reached parkway and she like finally got her stuffs.
And we went to buy bread?! Hahaha =D
I don't understand why this gal like bread so much leh.
And she told me her incident about using nets to buy bread.
LoL..Pretty funny!

After that we went walking around.
I know she want to go home for her tv programme but don't know why still can walk around?!
Maybe want accompany me?? Hahaha =D
We ended up in the arcade.
The two of us in arcade?! That just doesnt sound right. LoL
So we had "a little bit" of fun.
Hahahaha..
Actually wasnt a little bit, it was a lot of fun.
I very long didnt have so much fun le.

Since everything happened, that was like the only moment i didnt think about it.

Played alot of games, and the most memorable one should be the mariokart, basketball and the pretty lame mountain kart or smth (don't know the name)
I like shouting all my way trying to make kahying excited lo but she just like scared ps only. Hahaha =D

Oh ya, and we tried one stupid game.
Played by two person de and can test the percentage of dunno what thing about the two person.
Me and kahying 69% leh.
Hmmm,still not bad..
got room for improvement.(Sorry leh, xiaohao..LoL)

After everything,
Accompany her back to her place.
And she accompany me to wait for my bus.
After that home.

That night,
i saw something which make me emo again.
Was feeling worst when i cant get things right.
Miss you more. Hurts my heart more. But just can't stop hurting myself.

Wednesday 15/8
No school for the day!!
What more can i wish for!! =D

Cause the only lesson i got for today is lectures.
And we all know i won't go. Even if i went, i will be alone.
So whats the point.

Scb they all asked me to joined them to go eat ice monster.
Anything for me.
So went to school, meet them and slacked awhile at shortcircuit.

I saw you. You saw me ba?
I wondered how you feel when u saw me? Nothing at all?
Doesnt matter at all?
T_T I don't know. I don't know.

I wanted to talk to you just like we used to.
But everything just kinda different.
Maybe like you say, this is just the way how things is now.
I don't understand how come you can just say like this.
I understand we cant change how things is going to happen.
But i believe we can change how the way things is now.

"This is just the way how things is now"?
Thats all?! Don't you feel anything?
I'll remember it.

The thing strange about me is that i can remember things.
I remember nearly Everything and maybe i expect others to do so.
But its just impossible eh.

Qr saw my phone wallpaper at that moment,
she said something. Seeing at how they look at me at that moment.
I don't feel good. Not at all.

有些事是怎么样都忘不掉的.

I did look at you when i was sitting there.
All i was hoping for was just you could look at me too.
but it doesnt seem like it.
Xav and cp told me you was like telling your friends about me.
I didnt know what to say.
Should i feel something that you still mention me?

Zul and kt came too eh.
Seeing how u and zul and all of your friends look like sitting over there,
it just seems so nostalgic.
Suddenly i remember i told you before that seeing you and him make me think of us.
Even when you pull him to accompany you to buy things make me ... ...
You told me i was sensitive, i m . Every littl thing matter alot to me but how come the only person that matter is me only.

After that we went off
Kahying and those gals go went to do their projects and so i accompany xav,cp and zh to cityhall for his shoes.
On the way there,
I find that we really got nothing much to talk about.
I just feel kinda different. Compared to us.
This make me miss you more. Really.

We went to bugis after getting their stuffs and they went to the guanyin temple to pray.
I prayed too.
For everything, for myself and for you.

Went to the bus stop to meet the gals and went over to ice monster.
Ordered and the ice was pretty nice.
Just that i don't like strawberry. Too sour for me and i don't eat strawberry de in the first place.
But the worst thing is they want play zhong ji mi ma and the loser must eat the strawberry left over by ai ling. Hahaha
STRAWBERRY AGAIN!
Jialat!

But lucky throughout the game,
i never tio even once.
Lucky for me, like none of my business.
After everything, they decided to go shopping.

Xav and cp went back first, think they got something on.
So the rest of us went shopping.
I mean the gals ba.
Funny thing is they decided to take neoprint.
Been years since i last took one.
CP and me was kinda being forced to compromise. LoL
Took the pics and the gals took like donkey years to finish the editing.
After that, went walked around for awhile and went home le.
Accompany to ky and qr to their bus stop and went back home alone

That night,
We talked to each other on msn.

I saved the conversation.I read it again and again.
Can anyone say that im looking for trouble myself? I think im.
Even when i was writing this part of this post. Im reading it.

"Protection?"
This is the word.
I may not be strong enough to let you feel protected.
But i willingly to become that way. or izzit just too difficult?

"Too nice?"
How come i see this everywhere?

"Do we have alot of everything?"
I know maybe that tiny little bit of "everything" cant compared to you and him.
But u must know how i think ba. You told me you do.
So why are you saying this? Do you know this hurts me more then anything.

Thursday 16/8
Nothing much.
Same old me.
Same old routine.
It's still the way i don't want it to be.

Friday 17/8
Last day of 2.1!
I skipped school.
I been skipping school frequently that i never even expect myself to do so.
Have i really changed?

Someone msged me and told me i was heartless not to go school even for the last day.
I wondered,
if im really heartless, maybe i will be more happy now.
Got a feeling my life is worthless.

Meet weihao at night.
Went to his house and meet him, went ljs for dinner, slacked around.
After that home.
Whats more?

*To the girl that trying her best to know me.

Actually to be honest, i don't intend to talk about it here.
But seeing the way you are going now.
I think you can understand everything in my blog. You told me you read everything right.
Seriously, i don't understand why you will still be doing this after knowing everything.
I told you i don't think we know each other pretty well yet.
I cant give you anything.
Friends? Of course we are. So don't worry.
But u must understand that my heart only got her.
Of course i won't deny all those things you wrote for me.

Tuesday 21/8
"She" finally popped "the secret" out. Seriously i already suspected it before she told me but i was also kinda shocked that you dare to tell me.
No wonder i find you being kinda weird suddenly.
You told me i must be feeling happy cause theres two gals.
Right here, i want to tell you "Im not".
Of course i don't mean i m sad, angry or whatever.
You told me you think its impossible cause you know how i really feel.
I think i told you about everything more then i could imagine.
I just want to tell you that don't think too lowly of yourself.
I definitely appreciate what you done for me.

Oh,
and i opened the present you gave me le.
I really like it alot. You really listen to what i say hor. Hahaha =D
I show you my skill when i mastered it. LoL
Thanks.

Im sorry i don't write your name here. I don't think you want me to put it here too right. This is how i think and im sorry if you are offended because of this.
I will put it here if i think you won't mind. Its just my feeling.

盼不到我爱的人我知道我愿意再等
疼不了爱我的人片刻柔情它骗不了人

我不是无情的人却将你伤的最深
我不忍我不能
别再认真忘了我的人

离不开我爱的人我知道爱需要缘分
放不下爱我的人因为了解他多么认真
为什么最真的心碰不到最好的人
我不问我不能
拥在怀中直到他变冷

爱我的人为我痴心不悔
我却为我爱的人甘心一生伤悲

在乎的人始终不对谁对谁不必虚伪

爱我的人为我付出一切
我却为我爱的人流泪狂乱心碎

爱与被爱同样受罪
为什么不懂拒绝痴情的包围

Wednesday 22/8
Its her birthday!

Knowing this will be such a special occasion,a weird feeling just appeared in my heart unknowingly.

Moments ago, i read your blog.
The sense of loneliness happened again.
This time, its so different.
The pain just get more and more unbearable each time.

I don't know who to find.
I was listening to this song - 我爱的人
I talked to weihao and i cried as hard as i could this time.
I always believe this will be the last time,
but deep down in my heart,
i know this will not be the last time.

A few more hours later,
i will be there.
I really don't know what i will see there.
I really don't know how i will feel there.
I really don't know how i will react.
I really don't know how you will treat me.
I really don't know. Not even a clue.
And thats why im here alone thinking.

一年前的我们过的那么快乐
充满笑与泪的时光

我以为会一直这样下去
你却说你需要离开
需要一些空间

是不是每当拥有后就会开始要失去
我给你的越多
你却要越想要躲

我总是傻到失去才想要珍惜
从前的一切美得太不像话了
曾认为这世上不再只有自己

她像变了一个人
她开始做一些我万万没想到的事

当世界只剩下我一个人
你那边却是无止境的欢笑

我感觉到你过的很开心
一直想说服自己说“你开心就好“
不过自私的我还是做不到

当我最需要你的时候
你在哪
你不在

无尽的等待让我受了伤
但你还是不在

开心和不开心的时候
你都不在

时间过得很快
一会的时间而已
从那一天开始算都已经两个月了

一个人吃饭的我
想着你有别人的陪伴
感觉到的也只有自己的体温而已

原来有些事情不管怎样认真也不一定成真
你说的对我不得不承认

你就像空气一样
总是在我的身边存在着
但我却永远无法把你握在手里

太多太多的问题闯进你我之间
让我失去选择的余地
只能默默的爱着你
只是怀疑自己有没有这种能力

你知不知道对我而言
是你决定我的伤心

如果有一天我们还会重新相遇
我会用所有感觉拥有你

在这么多人里我却只看见你
你猜这是幸运还是不可思议呢

我身边的人都走得很快可我却停在这里
大家都说我傻的可以可还不是因为你

2007-08-09T23:03:00.000+08:00

I know i shouldnt feel that way.

But god damit.
Every little things just went wrong today.

First my bloody com got a virus attack or smth and went haywire.
Second i couldnt even get my own mouse back.
Why am i always the one getting all this?
Izzit wrong being nice and easy?
F**k!!

When i send you that msg, i received your call.
When the phone starts ringing and that familiar ringtone was heard.
For that only moment, even if it was just for a few seconds.
I was happy.
Picked up the call and you wasnt there.
I know you called me accidentally Again.
I wasnt upset. I told myself not to.
I heard everyone else voices. All of them.
Even you.
You sounds happy.
I don't want to think anything at that moment. I just want to listen to your voice.

To me, that was enough.
Kinda feel alone and lonely but i got that coming.

2007-08-08T21:54:00.000+08:00

Im not insulting you.
I don't even have the slighest intention of letting you feel that way.
It wasnt you.

That word wasnt for you.

Have i ever insult you before?
Will i try to do anything that will make you feel upset or insulted? Ask yourself
Since the day i know you, you know the one i teng the most is you
Since the day i reveal my feelings to you, you know the person i care the most is you.
You know i won't use this kind of word on you.
You know it. don't you.

I don't want you to hate me.
I don't want to lose you.

I'm not trying my luck. Don't use that on me.
You know me. I won't depend on my luck for dis kind of thing.
Im not like that.

I did listen to you.
Im getting on with my life.
I don't want to let you be troubled over me.
But im afraid.
Im afraid that you will forget me.
And i cant let go. I don't wish to let go.

So much between us so i keep on waiting till that day arrive.
So here im all by myself, thinking of you nobody else.
Only you.

Are you finding it hard all on your own
Having to face each night alone?
I do find it hard all on by own each night. I want you back.

I just miss you more each day.

2007-08-07T12:30:00.000+08:00

I feel like being replaced.
I feel like being betrayed.
All im feeling now is

Everytime i visit either your blog or your friendster, all i wish is to know how u been.
But all i get back is heartache.
I know i cant be so selfish that want you to be troubled over my matter.
I told my friends all you need is time.
Time is just what you need.

I don't understand why you cant say no and yes to that question of mine.
You cant say no because im somewhat being replaced?
You cant say yes because ??

I don't even remember that i need to ask you whether im one of your friends.

You treat me like be4.
Like be4?

Im still holding on to the pasts.
I just cant let go cause thats the only thing that could keep me going on.

I know you got someone in your mind now.
There used to be norton, didnt i told you that i will wait?
Painful as it may seems but
you'r the one i love so deep.

You told me you tried loving me. but you failed.
I tried not to love you, but i failed too.

I told you i used to give up on things i like easily.
But this time,
I'm serious.

2007-08-05T23:34:00.000+08:00

You choose to not think about it?
You choose to don't know anything?

Just to hope things don't get complicated?

What about me?
WHAT ABOUT ME?!

Don't leave me at the back.

2007-08-04T15:44:00.000+08:00

You Are Really Not Happy

You may have noticed that things aren't going too well for you lately.Your life never used to be like this, but it seems like happiness is slipping away from you.You definitely need a change, because whatever you have going on isn't working.It's time for you to shake things up - even if it means totally changing your life path.

2007-08-03T23:20:00.000+08:00

What a day!!

Yesterday night was one of the worst..
I just start to miss you more..
Alone in the room make me feel more worst..

Emotions start running here and there inside me..
I want you back!!

Only managed to fall asleep at 6am..
This morning i couldnt wake up..
My whole body don't feel too good..
Felt so sick..
Flu and sore throat..
And stomach starts to cramped
Cant even get myself off the bed..
Skipped school and the next moment,
it was late afternoon liao..
Realized today i got maths quiz..
Just too perfect!!

Went to see a doctor and got myself a mc..
Met weihao after that and went to tm to eat dinner and also to walk around..
I start to think of you again..
I realized i haven been going out recently..
Even interchange seems so different to me now..
not to mention town area..
Everywhere i go will still make me miss you..

We had our dinner at mac and went walking around..

I brought something..
For you..
I just hope you'll like it..
but still need to spend some time on it..

Thats it ba..

I don't wish to do that to you but you are the one i love and i don't want to lose you.
I hope you don't treat me the way you'r treating me now.

2007-08-03T04:20:00.000+08:00

我好后悔

我后悔当初抱你的时候，没把你抱紧

现在的你才会从我身边消失。

我后悔当初没把我所有心里话都告诉你

你才会不知道我心里是怎么想的。

不知道我现在还有这个机会吗？

2007-08-03T03:22:00.000+08:00

我永远不会忘记有个我很关心和我最爱最爱的女孩，
她叫吴素慧。

2007-08-02T21:12:00.000+08:00

Nan dao wo bu gou teng ni ma?
Nan dao wo bu gou ai ni ma?

Nan dao ni...

Feels good when someone is there to teng you ba.
Even if its only whatever percent.

2007-08-01T21:54:00.000+08:00

There are so many reasons that i find to run to you
Cos there's so little loving in my life, now i am wawy
And thinking about it i want things back how they used to be
There is no way round it, nothing good comes easily
So much between us and we both know that it's wrong
So i keep on waiting till i am back where i belong

Chorus

So here i am all by myself thinking of you nobody else
There is a feeling inside and as hard as i try it just won't go away
Are you finding it hard it all on your own
Having to face each night alone
Knowing that you are the one with the love that i need
And i miss you more each day

So many feelings emotions running away with me
Cos it's you that i believe in and i love this one so deep
So much between us and we both know that it's wrong
Now i keep on waiting till i am back where i belong
Back where i belong

Chorus

So i keep on waiting till i am back where i belong
Back where i belong

Chorus to fade

2007-08-01T21:33:00.000+08:00

Forget it.
It won't be me anyway.

2007-08-01T21:03:00.000+08:00

Wo de xin qing hen bu hao..
Fei Chang bu hao..

Wo de tou hao tong..
Wo zhen de bu xiang zai cai le..

Yue xiang yue fan
Xiang zhao yi ge ren tang tang dou mei you..

Xiang dao ceng jing de wo..you shi dou yi ding neng zhao ni..

Dao di ni hui bu hui hui lai neng?

Ni blogged de dong xi..
Wo zhen de xiang bu tou..
At most i know a few..
God damit..Can someone just tell me everything i want to know?

2007-07-30T21:56:00.000+08:00

KNS..

I Try to make myself happy everyday..
I Try very Hard..
Very very Hard..
But faking your smile always seems to hurts more..

But every night, there's always something i saw that make me damn emo..
Could this stop?
PLEASE STOP!!

I didnt know you could be so 狠心..
seriously i didnt know..

我搞不懂
我们到底怎么了
明明从前
连争执都很甜美
现在怎会
说句话就弄痛一遍

我真的搞不懂
我们到底怎么了

So what now?
I just got to read that..

I wondered..
I just went wondering..
Who izzit? Who izzit?
Who r you talking about?
I don't know..
I really don't know..
Cause there'r too many guys after everything..

I cant deny that of course i want what i wish for to happen..
Can i? I cant and i arent suppose to do so..
Can someone or i hope just you come and tell me what you r thinking ..how you r feeling and everything..
I want to know..
I used to think i understand you well..
Too full of myself? well..

When you came talk to me,
an emotion just rush out..
and i feel weak again cause i *****
izzit because this haven been happening for a long time
or izzit because i wasnt feeling that good for that moment..
But i asked myself,
Have i been feeling REALLY good since everything happens?
I don't know why..
It just happens every night..

I still can't understand your blog..
I will make sure i do..

and please dun change..damn,what m i talking?)

2007-07-27T22:01:00.000+08:00

Ta Da!!
Friday!!

Time for some rest..
Yeah..

Oh ya..
Teleprint quiz today..
Last minute study..hehehe..
But i think i still can do the paper..
only got some problem with the first question..
aiya..

Anyway i saw qian ru and our (snow white) kahying at bb..
these two hor..
was so amused by the pics in their camera..
Din even notice i was behind them spying all these time..lol
Gave them a shock..hahaha
Heard from snow white she finding me yesterday for lunch..
Woah..first time leh, find me for lunch..
but too bad yesterday phone no batt so..hehehe
Snow white, next time ba..

thats about it for the day..

Eunice goh, do you know how much i miss you?
I miss you alot.
From such close friends that we used to be,
till now that we hardly see each other.
Fated? It can't be.

I know your work is going to end soon
I understand how much this job and the person there is important to you,
but you already say that as long as you remember where you from.
Things happened won't be a problem.
I think you understand already so smile and just to let you know that i'll always be here for you.

我会好好过等你再爱我
我相信总有个角落会让你想起我
你留下很多够我面对寂寞
但寂寞不重重是爱太多
我会好好过当你回头, 看到的一定是我

2007-07-26T23:55:00.000+08:00

Tuesday night..
I never sleep abit for the whole night..
Im back..
trying to make myself as tired as possible before i went to sleep..
Just to make sure i don't think of you the moment i close my eyes..
Never expect that the moment i feel tired, it was time for school..

Picked myself up from bed and went to school..
First lesson - Icapp lab
Another tough subject..
Xu was late..hahaha
And last night she still told me must come for lesson..
Anyway was feeling kinda tired during lesson..
VERY TIRED..could fall asleep any moment..

Saw you before apel lesson..
but hell..what different does it make?
Apel lesson was boring as usual..
Last apel lesson..I don't know what to react when i heard that news.
Maybe it for the best..For me of course..
Sleep all my way and went to mensar to sleep again before BFA
Wasnt paying much attention in BFA..
I fall asleep every moment the teacher stop her sentence..
Hell too tired..

Decided to go home straight after lesson..
Someone msg-ed me to do so too..
And i got back my BFA's quiz result too..still not bad..
Lesson ended..
Waited a while with bY for them..

The funny thing is i didnt know someone got such speed to walk past me when i still saw him way behind me moment ago..
Damn..i shouldnt talked about this
And to someone else..
I understand why the covering up is needed..
but i already know that..
I think i understand why you did that
thanks anyway if the reason why i think you did that is the same..

The moment i saw that,
I don't feel good..
seriously i just dun feel good..
The feeling is back again..
Feeling of being replaced..
Last time i was the one doing all this..
And this time,
its back so strongly..
+ i wasnt in a clear state of mind
A tired body with a mind being invaded by thoughts that shouldnt be there,
it just sucks.

I wondered..
Why izzit me and why must it be today?

回家的路上我哭了
眼泪再一次崩溃了
无能为力这样走着
再也不敢奢求什么了
Tears start dropping when i was on the way home..
Being a guy,
Im kinda useless..
Yes i m..
cause everything hurts me deeply
But i don't need all these now..
Why should i make a mess of my life,
being upset for every little thing
when You Dun even BOTHER!!

Come to think of it..
I really feel everyone can be that..
It doesnt matter eh.
Its the same to you right.

I dun deny i still feel upset..
I dun deny i still love you..
But i dun mean a thing to you..
I read your blog just now..
Another guy being rejected by you..

I remember someone told me..
"Those guys woo-ing her, i think she mention all..
but last time when the things happened between you and her, did she mention anything?"
But i don't feel the way like he does..I still don't..Maybe...

I fall asleep the moment i reach home yesterday..
I m too tired..
I don't want to think anymore..
I don't want the feeling to be back anymore..
I just want to be asleep..

Woke up in the morning and realized my house blackout..
No electricity at all..
checked it out and realized some reconstructing on the electricity thing is going on..
Damn..one whole day w/o electricity..
I got the urge to go online actually..
Just to see something but i guess maybe its fate that i cant..

And my phone is dead too..no batt and i cant charge with no electricity
One day without phone and com..
First time and it doesnt really make much difference..
No one will find me anyway..

Today yao jie look at me during break and told me i look kinda suay
Huh?!
What does that supposed to mean?
Didnt asked much and thought it was a joke or something..

But the moment i go for my Teleprint lab..
quek said to me
"Wa, you like 刚失恋 leh"
I don't know what to say lo..
Then asked him how come he say that..
he told me i never cut hair then dun shave..
look so lost like that..

Did i really look so bad?
I think so..
I think i dun even care about how i look recently..
Must take care le..
hahahahaha..

If i don't care about myself, who will..
You won't..

不管世界变得怎么样,
只要有你就会是天堂

No matter how much power you have,
you cannot always ensure a positive outcome.

2007-07-25T00:06:00.000+08:00

If you don't make the choice,
the choice makes you.

But why is your choices always keep us apart?

Don't you care for me?
You can talk to me
You can tell me anything
You know that don't you

2007-07-24T20:26:00.001+08:00

Do whatever you want..
I've had enough.

Stop all that, you already expected what is to come.

2007-07-24T13:01:00.001+08:00

对你来说我根本就不算什么
你似乎根本就不在乎我

你所做的一切真的会影响我的每一天
不过在你心里你根本不管嘛

你永远是每一个夜里伤我最深的那个人

2007-07-22T03:06:00.000+08:00

I wasn't blogging for quite some time.
ok.
seriously i really got nothing to say, or should i say
i dunno what i could blog.

Wednesday 18/7/07
Another day with apel lesson and the date is quite a memorable one.
I hate to repeat myself cause when i do that mean that was in the past.

You talked to me?
It was nothing actually in everybody's eyes..
but it was different to me.
It was different..Way too different.
Someone told me maybe i should just take it one step at a time,
should i?

One month ago,
I was touched. Really touched.
Maybe to you it was nothing much but it mean alot to me.
But it was all in the past?

I started to think,
maybe i become too defensive?
Come to think of it,
I lose too many things in one month
Just one month..
I lose nearly everything
everything i can say that is important to me..
Including you.

Everything is gone just because you are gone.
Im not blaming you.
I can't and it wasnt your fault.
Just that everything came crumbling down when you are gone.

On the same day
Someone told me "文聪，你已经到了一个无可救药的地步了."
Use "无可救药" to describe me.
I was shocked to heard that,
but i think she was right.
Maybe toward you..Im already 无可救药.
Some(friends) already given up on me.

You are always in my heart.
I keep thinking of you no matter
where i go, what i do
Every place and every single thing hooked back the memories
Its sweet.
but when that happened, it hurts too cause its gone now.
Can i get it back?

Thursday
You chatted with me on msn which you used to,
but it seldom happened now.
Asked me about my blog. Isnt it all about you?
I wondered you read my blog? I know you did. I believe you did.
Sometime i even think that maybe you will be upset after reading everything.
cause i know what kind of person you are.
Maybe im wrong, i dunno you at all
I don't want you to be upset but i know im selfish.
I'm selfish.

The time now is 3:47 Am
Rains start dropping
and i didnt even notice.
Freezing cold
cold night.
Dark and cold it may be,
doesnt matter.
cuz its the same in my heart.

There seems to be alot of new faces around you.
Usually i will got to know who they are cause you used to tell me
but now ..
Alot of guys are trying to ask you for chances,
i know that.
Whether you gave them anot,
i dunno.
But i know the one is still him.

You blogged before you talk to me.
The weird thing is
I cant even get myself to read your post at one go.
My heart isnt that strong.
Every word seems to be cutting it.

Someone told me
"Maybe you shouldnt care too much about her, she's still living her life happily."
I know everyone should just live their life happily.
But i know you arent.
Deep down
you still got things bothering you.
Trying to tell me not to care too much about you?
Is that possible?
I asked myself. The answer is always there.

I still care alot what is happening to you everyday.

Friday
You'r going to chalet.
I think of the malaysia trip once again.
That trip of yours really make me experience alot.
Your messages, the feeling i have during those days and the things you told me when you return
All those,
are always on my mind.
Leaving once again but everything is just too different.

可能你从来没感觉到
可能你永远感觉不到

爱上你越来越无可救药
一天一天越来越无可救药
一生一次爱你到无可救药

我才慢慢体会到
幸福是被爱的人需要

我爱你到无可救药

2007-07-15T11:01:00.000+08:00

想陪你分享喜悦
想陪你面对悲伤

就算帮不上忙
我也会静静的陪着你
不管你怎样对我

问我为什么？
没为什么

因为我喜欢你

2007-07-14T23:36:00.000+08:00

Went out yesterday..

Went orchard..
Sing k with my friends..

I did passed by ngee ann city but i know you wasnt there..

Saturday..
14/7/07

Do you remember the kiss one month ago..
Do you remember falling asleep in my arms..
Do you remember i was there with you when you need someone..

I'm still here..
Same old place..
Waiting for you..

I'm feeling exhausted too..
I just want to fall asleep with you beside me..

2007-07-12T20:25:00.000+08:00

Ahhhhhhhh..

My eyesight worstened!!
Due to my contact lenses is giving my eyes trouble yesterday..
I wear specs to school today and i found out that i cant see things very clearly..blurly..
Sianzzz..

Continue doing my teleprint report in cyber center right after my first lesson..
Spend the whole night yesterday to do but still need to touch up on some parts..
but still got sleep for about 2 hours or so..
I'm in need of SLEEP!!

Met up with xinyi and crapped abit..
Miss Iu Xinyi,
your jokes are not Funny!!
muhahahahas..

Went to teleprint lab..
patched up some circuit and
Off we go!!

Then i realize i havent ate anything for the whole day..
HUNGRY!!!

Oh ya..
I joined ESC..
seriously i dun even got an idea whats that..
But qijun and jason asked me to join so i just go along with it..
Should be more active and can know more friends ma..
bY joined too..i think

Packed some food and went home..

You are still there
Deep down in my heart

hahaha =D
The little heart is gone.

Slowly and slowly
bits by bits
I'm forgotten...

2007-07-12T10:15:00.000+08:00

I shouldnt have tagged you..
I realize this only when i saw your reply..

Why the hell do i like to do what people asked me not to..

Feelings for you deepen recently
And all i could do was to watch you from far end

Being Loved by someone is so sweet
But that doesnt mean loving someone is too

Can you tell me what are your feeling when you decided to leave me and let me become the kohwencong that turned you off?

If there's really a chance,
I want to show you that
I Really Care & You Matter Alot to Me

2007-07-11T22:46:00.001+08:00

I nearly went blind today due to my contact lenses..
but maybe if i did, i will feel better..
=D

You moved away the moment i arrived..
Do i deserve this? Or just another way of your harsh method?
I don't feel so good that moment but i just take it down.

"In all communication you have today, pay attention to the underlying meaning"

I wondered..
Does 'that' consider as any form of communication and does 'it' mean anything??

You don't have to apologize. Really.

Do you know
Knowing you is a turning point in my life
Its all because of you that i changed myself

If i was to say that there was a little joy and happiness in my life
its all because of you

2007-07-10T23:53:00.000+08:00

Are you reading this?

2007-07-10T20:49:00.000+08:00

Woke up with 2 missed call from xinyi and kt..

Kt one was yesterday but im quite certain i never heard any calls leh..
weird..
xinyi was checking whether i was around in school..

Actually want to find her de..but she ended up in her bf's hse..
Diao..
Lunched and went for my Netfund lab..
Lab test next next week..

Home right after school..

Woooo..
My mum's cooking improved..
hahahaha..
Not bad wor..

Thats about it la..
Buzi leh..
Quiz tomorrow, teleprint report and cds project..
but i arent doing anything..lol..

Im so alone but i'll try my best.
Cuz there's nothing in this world i can do.

Getting my life back in process~

2007-07-10T20:39:00.000+08:00

Baby set me free from this misery
I can't take it no more
Since you ran away nothing's been the same
Don't know what I'm living for
Here I am so alone
And there's nothing in this world I can do

Chorus
Until you're back here baby
Miss you want you need you so
Until you're back here baby yeah
There's a feeling inside I want you to know
You are the one and I can't let you go

So I told you lies even made you cry
Baby I was so wrong
Girl I promise you now my love is true
This is where my heart belongs
Cuz here I am so alone
And there's nothing in this world I can do

Chorus

And I wonder, are you thinking of me
Cuz I'm thinking of you
And I wonder
Are you ever coming back in my life?
Cuz here I am so alone
And there's nothing in this world I can do

2007-07-09T23:27:00.000+08:00

ok.
I miss lectures..
i felt empty..every morning
I sat alone at level 1 of the block..
staring blank instead of going for my lecture..
Didnt know who to find..
No one to find..

Went to the next tutorial..
haven start..
Sat outside the class..
Waited and waited..
Just like how i wait for you..

Lesson ended..
El went for his interview i think
Alone again..
I think i saw you that moment..but

Lunched with bY and his friends..
And went for last lesson..
MCT..
Visited your blog again..
You wanted me to be happy but
your harsh method is really hurting..

Went home straight after school..
I really don't know where i can go..

I'm stupid.
To me?
I tot it was..
But maybe not..
I don't know..
I got no idea..

I think i saw you today..
I wish i could just walk over and..
I don't know what i'll do..

Surprises may somehow add joy to my life..but its doesnt seems to work..
i still felt Alone w/o you..

Every night seems to be torturing..

Friendster horoscope for Capricorn is Bullshit!

2007-07-08T23:39:00.001+08:00

I try not to online as long as possible today..
cause i know as long as im online..
it will hurt me..

But still i came online..
Saw it..
Im lost for words..
I dunno what to say..
Its like thousand needles piercing my heart..one by one..

I know i changed after that..
scary as it may seem..
but i love you..
I don't understand whats so scary..
Am i wrong in what i do for loving you?/

Being harsh is what you choose to make me stand again?/
I can't tell you whether it helps..
I can't tell you to go soft on me..

Things that are destroyed are already gone when you decided to treat me this way..
After all this,
Will i hate you?/
Will i?/

'cos u are kohwencong. someone who turned me off. cos u are DESTROYING UR FUCKING LIFE cos of me.
and GET URSELF A LIFE!'

Is this part of your harsh words..
You mean it? /
DO YOU?!!

I always believe what you did is because you still care..
even if my mind told me You'r not..
I rather lie to myself..
I know you'r doing this to let me get back my life..
but you won't be in it even if i got it back..

I did visited his blog..
Right after yours..
I heard the song..
I believe it was for you..
Even though i don't wish to admit it..
Even though that i don't really like him..
But it doesnt matter..

Do you think he will treat you differently?/
What if everything was like what it was before?/
I cant accept that..
cause i love you now..

You asked me to try my best not to love you..
even if i really allow myself to do that..
Where'll you be?
Will you be beside me?

I don't want you to be irritated by me..
but im afraid..
very afraid..

2007-07-08T01:24:00.000+08:00

Hahahahahaha..

bY got a new interest of being other people's clone..
=D lol

Kt was his victim..
hahaha..

And he show me alot of stupid and lame stuffs..
don't know where he got all that..

He told me friendster horoscope is so zhun for him..
his horoscope = leo
So i went to see and its about he could finish his project today..
i hope so..lol
oh..i saw mine too..

Capricorn!

"There is a restlessness in the air for you today -- you have been good long enough, and you are itching to be just a little bit bad. This could be the start of a long phase wherein you'll want to test your boundaries and see just how far you can push things"

I want to be bad!! Hohoho..

Beware!! lol..